Dear Curtis Painter

First appeared on September 1st, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Dear Curtis Painter,

My name is Johnny. I’m in the 3rd grade at Riley Elementary. My dad loves you. He talks about you all the time. Every game you play, he says your name more than any other player on the field!

Dad even named our new pup after you. Well his name was Leroy until he started wetting all over the carpet. That’s when Dad started calling him Curtis and hitting him with a rolled up newspaper.

My Mom’s a big Colts fan too. She made Dad a little doll wearing your jersey. It even has long blonde hair just like you! Dad lets mom keep all her stick pins and sewing needles stuck in you so she don’t lose them. That shows you how important you are to them.

Dad knows all your stats by heart. Your zero career touchdowns, 8 total completions in 2 seasons and your 2 interceptions and 2 fumbles lost.
My Uncle Ronnie gave Dad your jersey for Christmas last year. It was pretty cool because Uncle Ronnie usually only gives gag gifts. Dad doesn’t wear it though, probably cause he don’t want to get it dirty.

When you played so good last week against the Packers Dad was real excited. He ran around the house screaming something about the “end of the world”. Mom was some kind of mad after Dad ran out and blew his paycheck on lottery tickets though.

I remember one time 2 years ago Dad took me to the Jets game. It was when you guys were undefeated. We didn’t get to stay the whole time. Dad was so excited when they put you in that he got chest pains and some guys had to take him away on a stretcher. I didn’t get to see the end of the game but it was still pretty cool because I got to ride in an ambulance.

Anyways my Dad’s turning 40. His birthday party is next week. I was wondering if you could come. How cool would it be if his favorite Colt was there? It is on Sunday the 11th. I’m guessing you won't have plans, after all the Colts ARE going to start Kerry Collins against Houston right?

Look forward to seeing you Curtis,

Johnny


© 2011 Eric Walker Williams