Around the World and back-by hybrid car?

First appeared on July 29th, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

The next time your job seems impossible or painfully repetitive, take a moment to think of Oliver Hicks. This Englishman, who was first to row a boat solo across the Atlantic, is currently attempting to row solo “around the world”. Of course his definition of “around the world” is highly debatable as Hicks is rowing an extreme southern route around Antarctica. It still bears mentioning that, while his may not be a true “around the world” adventure, it is nonetheless impressive as the seas around Antarctica are notorious for being violent and unruly. In addition to this, rowing a boat can be quite taxing as anyone who has ever done so for any length of time knows, be it five minutes or the four months it took Hicks to cross the Atlantic.
Zac Sunderland knows something about high seas adventure as well. While most teenagers fret about passing Biology or fending off a bad case of acne, the 16 year old Sunderland had larger fish to fry in trying to survive 15 foot seas and pirates in the Indian Ocean. Last week this young American became the first sailor under the age of 18, and the youngest ever, to circumnavigate the world solo. And while circumnavigation may be a large word, it does not begin to describe how massive a challenge going around the world in anything actually is.
Beyond the sheer size of the planet, 24,000 miles around when she’s sporting form fitting jeans, there are so many unpredictable hazards involved with circling the globe that courage surely must prove a fickle companion to those attempting it solo. Whether it be by airplane (American Wiley Post 1933), sailboat (Englishman Robin Knox Johnston 1968) or hot air balloon (American Steve Fossett 2002), being the first to go around the world alone in anything is beyond brave; but to do it as a 16 year old kid is altogether inspiring. Rumor has it Al Gore has found Zac’s story so inspirational he’s going to try to be the first to go around the world in a hybrid car, good luck Al.
Sailing aboard the 36 foot Intrepid, it took Sunderland 13 months to go from Marina del Ray back to Marina del Ray. His most harrowing moments came when he was forced to sail with busted mast rigging and a shaky radar, unfortunate events that forced him to go 60 hours without sleep. Remember this is a kid who should be more worried about getting his learner’s permit so he can drive grandma to the pharmacy instead of searching the ocean in pitch black darkness for cargo ships so massive they could have sliced the Intrepid in two like a warm stick of butter.
With stories like the wreck of the Titanic and those highlighting the horrible fate of the U.S.S. Indianapolis crew, the ocean has long been a point of romanticism and fascination. And while Deadliest Catch may go a long way in reminding us the open ocean and Mother Nature are both formidable foes, with all man has done to conquer the world he lives in, it is far too easy to forget the ocean itself is a mass of deadly potential.
Forget Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, from rogue waves to shifting winds or the tectonic activity that spawn deadly episodes like the tsunami of 2004 (estimated to have killed over 300,000 people), the ocean should strike awe and wonder in our hearts while also commanding our respect. So here’s to young Zac Sunderland and the optimistic Oliver Hicks, may yours be a journey appreciated by all.

A trip into the great unknown

First appeared on July 25th,
in The Lebanon Reporter

In sweeping the Washington Nationals in four games over the weekend the Chicago Cubs have come out of the All Star break firing on all cylinders. This of course comes as a punch in the gut for St. Louis Cardinals fans. Those who know baseball understand the rivalry between the Cubs and Cards is ugly and theirs is a dislike rooted historically, regionally and culturally.
The hatred for Cubs fans in St. Louis is legendary and the ability of Cards fans to heckle, harass and cut down anyone sporting Cub gear is well known throughout the baseball world. Stories of purported showers of stale beer, half eaten boxes of popcorn and vulgarities strike fear in the heart of Cubs fans in much the same way the prospect of a Joe Biden press conference makes Democrats jittery.
Cards fans are reportedly so skilled at making the lives of Cubs fans miserable that one is led to believe the entire city has received some type of formal training or attended a harassment seminar. And we’re not talking your run of the mill- Cubs fan:”Where’s the men’s room?” Busch Stadium Usher “Never heard of it” type of harassment. We’re talking about the no holds barred no family member or subject is off limits type of harassment.
With this in mind, one may feel somewhat sympathetic with yours truly knowing he ventured into Busch Stadium recently sporting what else but a Cubs hat. Of course had the Cards been playing the Cubs, solace surely would have surfaced by finding strength in numbers as Cubs fans notoriously travel well. Alas such was not the case as the Arizona Diamondbacks were in town; which of course made anyone wearing a random Cubs hat an easy target. Easy like fishing with dynamite or teaching a two legged dog to sit.
Unfortunately (or fortunately) the rumors proved to be mere over exaggerations and, as far as heckling goes, the night was pretty uneventful; the experience however was not.
For starters the new Busch Stadium (opened in 2006) is awesome. It probably goes without saying that anyplace that can boast fresh from the brewery Anheuser Busch products and a combination of a Hardees Monster thick-burger and Nathans Famous Hot Dogs all under the same roof is fairly dangerous to begin with. Toss in the modern conveniences of escalators, ATM’s, misting stations and a centerfield big screen large enough to double as a solar cover for Lake Michigan and the result is quite simply a wonderful ball park experience.
The structure is comprised of a stunning red brick which matches perfectly the rust colored turn of the century brewery works downtown. The main entrance and all light towers are rigged with ironwork in arch patterns designed to remind patrons of the historic Eads Bridge which spans the nearby Mississippi River. Between the brick and ironwork, the new Busch Stadium looks like something that fell out of some lost epoch of time before landing amidst the concrete and glass of a bustling modern city.
As if painted by hand, an inspirational view of downtown, including 2/3 of the Arch, hangs above the centerfield stands. The foul territory on both baselines is a vast expanse of grass and the quizzical placement of each bullpen gives the stadium the appearance of a massive waste of space considering the intimate quarters known as Wrigley Field holds nearly as many fans.
Despite this, with a capacity of nearly 44,000, chances are there is a good seat waiting for you in St. Louis and (Cubs fan or not) it is a seat I highly recommend you take.

For NBA roster keepers and jersey makers, the times they are a changin'

First appeared on July 15th, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

In case your cable got shut off and the internet is still a passing fad to you, here’s a heads up- the NBA off season has been anything but uneventful. Normally we’re accustomed to seeing contenders standing pat as ownership is satisfied to let their rosters mature for another season in fine wine fashion. But just like the mercurial North Korean leader Kim Jung IL, this year has been ‘different’. With so many names being tossed around the time seems right to let the second guessing begin.
Though most will agree his recording a Michael Jackson tribute song was undoubtedly wrong, Ron Artest joining the Lakers is nothing but right. This becomes ‘nothing but right’ because the Purple and Gold have proven they’re the best team in basketball, so instead of simply repeating as champs (yawn), they’ve taken on the league’s heaviest albatross in an effort to prove Jackson and Kobe can win no matter what self-imposed stumbling block comes their way.
While Trevor Ariza and Hedo Turkoglu are both highly skilled in different ways, there is no doubting each has resigned himself to a meaningless future of used car lot appearances and early playoff exits. Ariza’s choice of Houston becomes all the more perplexing considering the heart of that Western Conference finalist appears to have been ripped out by Yao’s career-threatening broken size eighteen and a team MVP whose split for the bright lights of Hollywood (Artest).
Turkoglu flirted with Portland until Orlando got wind of it and, in a fit of rage typical of a jealous girlfriend, sent him packing via trade to Toronto. Much to the chagrin of Turkoglu’s agent, along with the moon, Toronto is apparently the one place every NBA player would just as soon retire before playing in.
Believe it or not, with Shaq in Cleveland there are still those who feel the Cavaliers are a championship favorite. Apparently the office Secret Santa hasn’t stuffed a company calendar in these people’s stockings recently because it is 2009 in the real world (not 1999). Shaq can still be a force but unfortunately he can’t solve all of Cleveland’s problems. He should fit in though because, just like the rest of the Cav’s roster outside of LeBron, O’Neal can’t face the basket and create his own shot.
Of course some moves have made total sense. San Antonio got much stronger by adding the one thing they needed most; youth. In drafting DeJuan Blair and trading for Richard Jefferson the Spurs got younger and quicker and, toss in some added playoff experience in Antonio McDyess, suddenly they have the recipe for a Western Conference Finals appearance.
The Celtics signing of Rasheed Wallace is especially sexy because anytime Wallace gets a whiff of a deep playoff run, his mouth and short fuse take a much welcomed backseat to his unparalleled talent. Although their window of opportunity isn’t exactly propped wide open, look for Boston to charge deep into the playoffs next season provided they have their health and Rondo at the wheel.
While the Pacers won’t contend, the move for defensive specialist Dahntay Jones is attractive nonetheless. As everyone is busy one-upping each other with glamorous signings, Larry and Co. are quietly building a solid foundation of character guys and proven winners. In drafting Tyler Hansbrough and signing Jones, the blue and gold have added two hard nosed players who are accustomed to winning (see North Carolina and Duke respectively).
So maybe when it comes to the 2009 NBA offseason Yogi Berra put it best, “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll wind up somewhere else.”

A brief comparison of Hot Dogs and the NBA Draft

First appeared on July 8th, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

It was high drama on our nation’s birthday as Americans swelled with great pride over one of our most cherished traditions. Breathless onlookers were left speechless after witnessing Joey Chesnut versus the Hot Dog. Stretching the physical limits of his own intestinal track, Chesnut inhaled 68 dogs in 10 minutes while besting former champ and Japanese cultural phenomenon Kobayashi.
What followers of the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest may not realize is that former U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt actually served the same Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs Chesnut and Kobayashi dueled with on Saturday to the King and Queen of England in 1939. OK-so hopefully they weren’t the exact same dogs.
Watching Chesnut’s impressive inhalation of encased meat (imagine a wood chipper without the mess) was strangely reminiscent of another champion. A few weeks ago the Indiana Pacers selected former North Carolina power forward Tyler Hansbrough with the 13th overall pick in the NBA draft. For those unfamiliar with his game, Hansbrough attacks loose balls, opponents and the basket in much the same way Joey Chesnut would likely go after a street vendor’s Hot Dog cart.
As to be expected Hansbrough’s selection stirred a hornet’s nest of frenzied naysayers and sportswriters who can’t find anything else to write about in July. Amongst the most popular jabs being lobbed by critics is that today’s NBA is about athleticism and Hansbrough doesn’t fit that mold. Let’s be honest Tyler Hansbrough doesn’t fit any mold. In what may be the most obvious statement of the year Hansbrough simply just knows how to play basketball. And after being a three time First Team All American and North Carolina’s all time leading scorer, it would be an understatement to say he’s pretty good too.
Casual fans and avid You Tubers alike probably remember Hansbrough best for his remarkable dunk over the 7 foot 7 UNC Asheville center Kenny George (You Tube it now if you haven’t seen it), and to be sure it was a play that would never had happened if Hansbrough were not “athletic”. Real Carolina fans, you know the ones who actually know what a Tarheel is and not those who surface after a Final Four run with a new hundred and fifty dollar Starter jacket, remember him as the player teammates dubbed “Psycho T” for his reckless abandon on the basketball court.
“He’s too small” is a classic cut many draft analysts use when their proverbial ‘this guy won’t pan out’ gun is out of bullets. At 6’9 Hansbrough is the same size as Karl Malone and five inches taller than Charles Barkley standing on a phone book. Not to mention, anybody who can grab over 1,000 rebounds in a collegiate career is without a doubt big enough to get the job done.
Simply put forget his lack of size and anything else the critics may vomit up like a bad truck stop omlet, this was the right pick for the Pacers because more than anything Tyler Hansbrough is a winner. He won back to back state titles as a high schooler in Missouri and of course there was that National Championship in college last year. The largest missing piece from the Pacer locker room right now seems to be the “losing is not in my vocabulary” mentality Hansbrough carries. The good news is Pacer fans can rest safe knowing he will bring his “dominate or bust” attitude to practice and pregame workouts, he will bring it to the court every night and, while on the road, safe money says he’ll bring it to the hotel’s continental breakfast as well.

The Most Frustrating Man in the World

first appeared on July 1st, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

When White Sox Shortstop Alexi Ramirez hit a run scoring single in the eighth inning of Saturday’s interleague game against the Cubs it marked the fourth blown save of the season for set up man Carlos Marmol. The hit was the beginning of a comeback that would help the Sox take two of three from the Cubs over the weekend. Marmol’s performance was a microcosm of the Cubs’ season. All year long the northisders have played well enough to win but by the time the Bleacher Bums have summoned the balance and concentration necessary to raise a celebratory toast, their team has somehow found a way to lose.
Marmol, a 27 year old right handed reliever who hails from the Dominican Republic, led the major leagues with 30 holds in 2008 and (despite a three week stretch in June when he appeared to be pitching with a blindfold on) threw like he was from another planet for most of last season. This year has been a completely different story for Marmol and all Cubs fans in general.
The Pitcher’s struggles are strangely reminiscent of the Dos Equis beer pitchman known as the “Most Interesting Man in the World” but instead of being interesting Marmol would definitley have to be the “Most Frustrating Man in the World”. In his first 8 innings of June Marmol surrendered 8 runs. Of course it goes without saying this is not good considering the expectation for a set up man is to preserve a team’s lead; a prerequisite of which would be to not give up any runs.
According to the commercials the Most Interesting Man in the World’s “reputation is expanding faster than the universe”. In Marmol’s case his reputation is without a doubt growing but it his ERA that is expanding faster than the universe. Much to the chagrin of Cubs fans and the Ice Road Truckers presumably, from 2007 to today the pitcher’s earned run average has mirrored ballooning gas prices as it has expanded from a rock solid 1.43 to a “soon to be greeting customers at Wal-Mart” 3.96.
The Most Interesting Man in the World “once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels”. Apparently in an effort to keep things interesting, Marmol once held a lead that was handed to him just to see how it feels. Of course we can’t hang all the Cubs’ troubles on The Most Frustrating Man in the World because that wouldn’t give me enough stuff to write about. Complimenting Marmol’s inconsistency well is the Cubs inability to hit or field like a major league team for most of the season. This is not to say they have not been worth the price of admission however. There have been exploding Gatorade machines, multiple live game balls tossed into the stands and witty barbs exchanged between members of the clubhouse that have served to keep things interesting.
So it goes for the Cubs as they limp towards the All Star break and a well earned chance to hole up and lick their wounds. There will be no part of this first half of the year worth remembering. Cubs historians will look back on this period and lament blown opportunities, blown saves and blown tops. Fortunately all that remains is 10 more games until we reach the second half. So can the Cubs pull things together and make a run for the playoffs or will their corpulent payroll and commonplace performance earn them the inauspicious title “New York Yankees of the National League”? We'll just have to wait and see, in the meantime-“stay thirsty my friends”.