NBA Lock Out not drawing many fans

First appeared on October 26th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Between Google and Yahoo News, Twitter, Facebook and MySpace (if that child predator’s playground still exists), BlinkxTV, Clusty and any of dozens of Smart Phone Apps that will instantaneously update you the second NATO tries to clean the next Muammar Gadaffi’s ear with a Q-Tip (and by Q-Tip here we mean SCUD missile) ours truly is the Information Age.

Simply put its 2011 and there are plenty of ways to get the news. No longer are we slaves to Walter Cronkrite and Tom Brokaw. On a quick side note let’s say “Job done” to Bryant Gumbel for dredging the issue of slavery up from the bowels of that insidious netherworld where horrifically controversial topics go to die. Now we can all feel free to tiptoe around its appropriate usage once more.

It’s also interesting to note that after Gumbel compared NBA Commissioner David Stern to a slavery-era plantation overseer, there was no national “Fire Bocephus Now!” movement. Perhaps it was his lack of camouflage Crimson Tide hat and truck stop shades that led people to believe Gumbel was making an educated statement.

The real point here is not to draw attention to a sports show 90% of the nation didn’t even realize was on the air, rather it’s that never before have we been better informed or connected as a human race. So how then is it possible for players in the NBA to appear so disconnected from reality? The current NBA Lockout marks the 2nd work stoppage in 13 years for “the Association”. And as each side elbows its way towards a bigger piece of a $4 billion dollar pie, many fruitless meetings have been held.

To this point however nobody is budging as the preseason and first two weeks of the regular season have already been flushed down LeBron James’ toilet (which we can only guess is constructed of Shang Period porcelain and equipped with a diamond studded flush handle).

SportsCenter isn’t leading off broadcasts with Chicken Little “Lockout” updates as they did during the recent NFL work stoppage. Just as Late Night talk show hosts have not been delivering any material constructed around basketball’s labor rift. In short, few seem to care that the 2011-12 NBA season is fighting for its life.

The public’s reaction to the player’s demands, owner’s threats and subsequent Lockout goes far beyond crickets chirping. It’s more like somebody paid the Orkin man to torch the cricket field with Napalm, or whatever the world of professional pest extermination equivalent of Napalm would be.

With $3 gas and national unemployment approaching 10%, now is not the time for millionaires to be bickering over a larger share of a $4 billion pie; especially when the players are already getting 57% of it. It’s selfish, indefensible and disgusting; and that’s why most of us don’t care.

While there may have been a time when the public would have rallied behind players and their effort to “stick it to the man”, or “take it from the man”, or “refuse to cow to the man” whichever applies here, clearly now is not that time.

Last season 22 of 30 NBA teams lost money. In 2010 the Pacers needed to coax $10 million from the CIB just to cover operating costs. These are but two of several indicators indicating the exact same thing. Of course we’re talking about the need for blowing the NBA’s current business plan up and starting over. If the players union doesn’t get it then let them all play in Europe; no doubt they’ll be amongst the few who can afford the $6 gas there.


© 2011 Eric Walker Williams

Crossfit Training: All the Kids are doing it

First appeared on October 12th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

At the behest of someone who clearly wanted to see great harm (or humiliation perhaps) come to me, I recently attended a workout session at CrossFit 180. Before I continue it’s best to clarify the word ‘workout’ to me is most often defined by any work done outside the house. This could be, but is not limited to, paying the kid across the street to mow the yard, standing outside while thinking about painting the window trim and walking around with rake in hand trying to humor the neighbor who accuses me of waiting for my leaves to blow into his yard.

You guessed right, I don’t work out. That’s why attending CrossFit was so out of the ordinary. CrossFit 180 is a local gym run by Brad and April Garner and while the exterior may appear unassuming trust me when I say the interior is a beehive of activity. For those not in the know, CrossFit is a new exercise program sweeping across the nation faster than Cold-War-Era- conversion-van-sized space-junk that has survived re-entry and is now careening towards Earth on a path left overtly vague and unspecified by NASA.

To learn more I did some in depth research. This included googling “CrossFit” and clicking on the first result. It was here I discovered the CrossFit creed: “…a fit person requires proficiency in each of ten general physical skills”. The program is currently employed as a training regimen for over 2,000 gyms worldwide, several fire departments and law enforcement academies as well as various branches of military service including the Canadian Forces and the Royal Danish Life Guards (not a joke).

One testament to its popularity is the fact there are CrossFit competitions held on every continent except Antarctica. And, given the enduring spirit of man, the grand opening of that gym on the South Pole can’t be far away.

In the interest of full disclosure, I learned most of this by leaning heavily upon the CrossFit Wikipedia page. And while Wikipedia isn’t considered a 100% reliable source, even in the world of the part-time pretend media, it was still interesting to discover that Long John Silver’s is a flagship sponsor of CrossFit and the origins of the program are traced back to the Girl Scouts of America.

At CrossFit 180, Brad helped me tailor the activities to meet my individual needs. This involved scaling my workout which basically meant doing less to reduce the stress on my muscles. Brad assured this was a good idea considering I was a beginner, and I agreed because doing less is generally what my body has grown accustomed to anyway.

There were several stations with various activities- jumprope, box jumps, sit ups, jumping pull ups, lunges, wall ball; all designed with the clear intention of toning muscles while making you question your decision to attend CrossFit to begin with. It was a complete workout, in fact the only station I could possibly suggest adding would be one with a Lazy Boy, television, bowl of potato chips, 2 liter of soda pop and vat of gravy complete with ladle.

All kidding aside, CrossFit employs the strategy of variation while also playing upon the human urge to compete. However its effectiveness lies in the unique ability to create a pack mentality. For at CrossFit 180 it’s not just you versus an exercise bike in a stubborn battle of wills, rather you and a group of people push each other to reach higher. The staff was friendly, the workout rewarding and the varied activities ensure your days at CrossFit 180 will be far from mundane.
Find out more at www.crossfit180.com

© 2011 Eric Walker Williams

At the intersection of Purdue and Notre Dame

First appeared on October 5th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Webster’s defines hype as “something that will never live up to expectations”, or at least it should. It would seem that, as a rule, the more hype something gets the worse it tends to be. Coke Zero, Lethal Weapon II, sixth grade, these things were no different, or arguably better, than their predecessors.

As Americans we’ve grown accustomed to making things bigger and better. When the Russians sent a man into orbit, we sent one to the moon. When Japan bombed our naval base at Pearl Harbor we sent the Fat Man and Little Boy to level two of their cities. And when there wasn’t enough grease and cholesterol in our fast food we invented supersizing.

But perhaps there exists those things which we cannot improve upon. Innovations engineers actually perfected the first time, or things even evolution itself cannot make better. I would offer toilet seats, the Oreo cookie and Notre Dame Football all fall into this category.

Every year we hear Notre Dame will be in the BCS picture. Every year they are supposed to return to the green pastures that disturbingly strange looking Leprechaun mascot/guy and Irish fans once frolicked through together with regularity. But every year since Lou left town they’ve done nothing but prove themselves unworthy of such hype. Maybe we’re seeing the best Notre Dame today’s college football can give us.

Three straight Irish wins was all the more reason for Head Coach Brian Kelly to see Purdue as the ultimate trap game. On the other side of Saturday night’s match up was a Boilermaker team whose performance left fans scratching heads while wondering if Head Coach Danny Hope had a mere 2 minutes to prepare for the Irish instead of the 2 weeks he actually had.

With 2 weeks to prepare and an upset of an in-state rival riding on the game, the best Purdue could come up with was an interception on the first play from scrimmage and no plan whatsoever for covering Michael Floyd.

Pittsburgh had success negating Floyd two weeks ago, but apparently Danny Hope doesn’t watch game tape, or perhaps he lives in the one corner of the globe that can’t pull down an ABC affiliate. Either way, the Boilermakers clearly failed in the “stopping Michael Floyd” department (12 catches, 137 yards 1 touchdown).
So with the Irish surging, the Boilers remain the black and gold question mark they’ve been since Hope came to town. We heard all preseason about Ricardo Allen being the most talented defensive back to hit West Lafayette since Rod Woodson, and yet Saturday night Michael Floyd made Allen look nothing more than pedestrian.

We heard the book on Caleb TerBush was that, while he doesn’t make the big plays, he also doesn’t make mistakes that get you beat. Then he goes out and throws a pick on the first play from scrimmage. We were also told that a key strength for TerBush was his feet and yet we didn’t see his number called very much at all.

Saturday night was one of two things. Either it was an aberration for Purdue and they have the talent to stay competitive with Notre Dame, or we are seeing two programs heading in opposite directions. After a string of bowl berths left Purdue football fans thirsty for more they were quick to send Joe Tiller packing for his Wyoming ranch. Yet if Tiller is any guide (and he really has to be), in his 3rd year Hope should be bringing more to West Lafayette; more talent, more wins, more excitement- in short more hype.

© 2011 Eric Walker Williams