The Death of Baseball

First appeared on September 24th, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

History was made at Tropicana Field Friday night when instant replay was used to overturn an umpire’s call. Initially a ball hit by Ray’s first baseman Carlos Pena was ruled a ground rule double. Upon further review however it was decided the ball was actually a homerun. Though the play eventually proved meaningless to the outcome of the game, it did mark the first time technology was used to overrule an umpire.
What isn’t meaningless is the change commissioner Bud Selig is bringing to America’s favorite pastime. On August 28th the czar of baseball gave the go ahead for the use of instant replay on home run calls. Claiming the move was “in the sports best interest” Selig has unwittingly pulled the plug on a sport that had previously been recovering nicely from a steroid-era induced coma.
This is not the first time we have seen Selig in his laboratory tinkering away like a mad scientist. For trying to link the outcome of the Major League All Star game with the playoffs, none here will argue Selig’s epitaph should read “This Time it Counts” when his time comes. Allowing instant replay is just another in a long line of cackhanded Selig decisions and we are of the opinion that what is actually “in the sports best interest” is to let baseball be baseball.
For well over 100 years now baseball has been the one constant in American culture that has stood unchanged. As so many fashions and fads came and went there was baseball. As silent films gave way to those with sound and war flicks heeded to westerns, there was baseball. Through the ugliness of war, national tragedy and presidential scandal baseball has always marched on with its head held high.
Baseball was the last bastion of tradition in American culture. The game is still played today as it was a hundred years ago. It is a unique world where a Saturday spent in Wrigley in the 1940’s was absolutely no different than a Saturday spent there last weekend. Now all of that seems destined to change.
We contend human error is a critical aspect of sport. Be it player or umpire, one of the intriguing elements of any game is its unpredictability. Instant replay changes all of that. And yet perhaps instant replay is merely a microcosm of modern society, a symbol of the way the youth of America are taught to view life today. Don’t worry about getting things right the first time, we’ll give you another chance. Of course it goes without saying that pondering such concepts is FAR too deep for us.
More to the point, the umpire was always the guy you could curse when things didn’t go your way, a convenient excuse for a team that just wasn’t good enough. Now, between instant replay and ESPN’s K-Zone (a computer that accurately targets balls and strikes), why do we need these guys at all?
Perhaps baseball in 2080 will feature some faceless voice from the press box bellowing out every call as if the umpire were God himself (of course Cubs fans know if this were actually the case, we would never lose). The one sport that had weathered the temptation of fashionable rule changes has now unfortunately succumbed to the incessant pressures of the information age.
Umpires are a real part of the game. Someone needs to tell Bud Selig that there are things in life that were never meant to be changed, like the Twinkie or Michael Jackson’s nose. While the rule change is technically temporary, we are still of the belief that Selig is erasing the human element from the game and, in doing so, carelessly gashing the sport we love through the heart.

Beware the Goat

First appeared on September 17th, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

Rain had interrupted game 4 of the 1945 World Series and fans in Chicago, mostly men decked out in dark jackets and ties, were cursing their luck. When the clouds parted, the sun was greeted with an ovation of derbys and split straw hats being waved in the air. The umpire gave the call to resume play and the Detroit Tigers and Chicago Cubs took the field. From his private box Cubs owner Phillip Knight Wrigley was excited to see his team resume their chase of a title that had eluded them for an incomprehensible 37 long years.
Then it happened. A moment that would alter the history of an entire franchise for the next 60 plus years. Phillip Knight Wrigley got a whiff of Billy Sianis’s goat. The wet fur of Murphy the goat was emitting such a fowl and vile stench that the owner became so completely disgusted that he demanded it be removed immediately. Sianis claimed he had paid for two seven dollar seats; one for himself and one Murphy. Wrigley would hear none of the man’s argument and had security escort Sianis and his pet Bovidae out of the stadium.
While most rational thinking humans would most likely have challenged the civil rights of their livestock in court, Sianis chose instead to place a curse on the Cubs by swearing the World Series would never return to Wrigley Field. That was 63 years ago come October. The Cubs surrendered that title to the Tigers in seven games and the series has never returned to Wrigley.
Well here we go again. September is here and the Cubs are teasing us once more. After leading the central division for most of the season, the Cubs have suddenly noticed a strong whiff of the stale beer breath of the Milwaukee Brewers breathing down their necks. After losing 6 of 10 games so far this month, Chicago has put themselves in the perfect position to break our hearts once more.
The champagne has been iced as Cubs fans everywhere begin preparing themselves for that inevitable moment in which a toast to next year, in the absence of a pennant, is the only thing left to raise. The only thought that worries a true Cubs fan more than a lead in September is one of Steve Bartman throwing out the first pitch on opening day.
The buzz and excitement of July and August has suddenly dwindled to a stifled murmur. This is most likely because Cubs fans know disaster looms on the horizon. Fans have reached this same conclusion for 63 straight years now because it is widely accepted, in case you live under a rock, have just moved to the planet Earth or are a Cardinals fan that the curse of the goat continues to haunt the Cubs. There is no scientific terminology for the fear of goats, but every true Cubs fan battles it.
While the Cubs have tried everything to rid themselves of the Curse, none of it matters much to Murphy. Apparently he doesn’t read the sports pages. Instead all he remembers is his odiferous eviction from a rainy Wrigley Field. And every Bleacher Bum since has paid for that fateful decision 63 years ago. So here we go again Cubs fans, or those who love to laugh at them, our team is charging their way towards the playoffs once more. And as the finish line becomes visible after a brutal 162 game schedule, the only question left to answer is can this bunch actually bring home their first pennant since 1945?
Of course as fans all we can do is wait to see if, or when, Murphy will rear his ugly (er stinky?) head. For if the Cubs bungle the opportunity they have this year as they have so many before the only question remaining will be, in the immortal words quipped by Murphy’s owner Billy Sianis following the 1945 World Series loss, “Who stinks now?”

College Football is Back

First appeared on September 10th, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

For the longest time finding a diehard college football fan in the state of Indiana was a lot like finding a needle in a haystack or a healthy hot dog. Sure there has always been Notre Dame with their high falutin’ peacock contract, but many outside the state don’t even realize the school is actually located in Indiana. This season may be different however. According to a small group of nationally unrecognized and highly unqualified health experts whose names will be really difficult to find should you attempt doing so, College Football Fever may be on the brink of exploding into an all out epidemic statewide this fall.
Be on the lookout. One telltale sign the fever has struck is the sight of an increased number of persons consuming mass quantities of liquefied barley in gatherings around the tailgate of a pick up truck. Symptoms include an enlarged belly, painted face, hoarse voice and severe headache (occurring most generally on Sunday mornings). If the fever hits hard this year we may see record numbers of Hoosiers bowling in January as there are four quarterbacks who should bring national recognition to teams in the state.
Notre Dame’s Jimmy Clausen battled injuries last year and still managed to start more games as a freshman than any other Irish player in history. He also became the only true sophomore named to the O’Brien Award watch list. Given the fact the Irish schedule has been completely overhauled and the “powers that be” love to see the Golden Domers bowling, Notre Dame should be able to mount some sense of a bowl effort if Clausen can remain healthy and consistent.
Purdue senior Curtis Painter is the only one of the four quarterbacks who was born and bred in Indiana. A pure pocket passer, Painter is 2nd all time in completion percentage at Purdue and 4th overall in total passing yards with over 8700. Featured on the Manning Award watch list for most of last year, Painter has taken Purdue to two straight bowl appearances. That streak could be in jeopardy this year however as the Boilers will have to face Oregon as well as perennial Big Ten powers Ohio State and Penn State.
Indiana became the feel good story of college football last season when Austin Starr kicked the Hoosiers past Purdue and into their first bowl appearance in 14 years. The electric play of quarterback Kellen Lewis was one of the biggest reasons for the bowl bid. Coming into his junior season Lewis is already tied for the most touchdown passes in team history. A former member of the Big Ten All Freshman team, Lewis is 2nd in completion percentage all time and was named to ESPN’s first team All Big Ten last season. Though they will not face Ohio State, the scheduling gods are not completely smiling on the Hoosiers this season as they will have to face Big Ten powers Illinois, Penn State and Wisconsin.
Last but certainly not worst is Ball State’s Nate Davis. Somewhat of a hybrid, the junior quarterback can do damage outside the pocket but loves putting the ball up more. After two games this season Davis is already ranked in the top 10 nationally in passing yards. He is 3rd all time in yardage at BSU and already has the career mark for touchdowns with 48.
Ball State went bowling in Canada last year and they may be the safest bet of the four to do it again. Gone from their schedule are games against the likes of Nebraska and Michigan and, in what should be an entertaining match up, the Cards will play Indiana on September 20th. It is no stretch to believe the bowl hopes for both schools could be at stake on that one Saturday afternoon. Catch the fever and get out to see one of these teams play soon.

Manning's Absence is out of the Ordinary

First appeared on September 3rd, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

We couldn’t help but notice the fact that when Peyton Manning underwent surgery on his left knee in early July he seemingly disappeared. Fans and media alike found it curious when the former two time league MVP wasn’t around as the Colts entered training camp. At stake of course is Manning’s 160 consecutive games started streak (most among active NFL quarterbacks) and, oh yeah, the Colts chances of winning any games at all this season.
When August turned on the calendar and Manning was yet to surface, Colts fans became nervous. We don’t mean cat on a hot tin roof nervous either. We mean the low level aide who drew the short straw and had to break the news to Hitler that the Allied invasion of Normandy had been a success kind of nervous. We mean a turtle trying to cross the Autobahn kind of nervous.
For a month the most visible person in the sports world had suddenly became the most invisible. In the weeks and months following September 11th George W. Bush was keeping Vice President Dick Cheney in an “undisclosed location” in the interest of national security. Perhaps, when it came to hiding his quarterback’s whereabouts, Colts coach Tony Dungy was simply borrowing a page from W’s playbook (yes, we’re cringing too).
Maybe it’s just overexposure. Maybe we are so used to seeing Manning’s face on everything from city busses and television commercials to cans of soda and urinal cakes (available in the New England area only) that when we don’t see it for a week or two we start going through withdrawal.
The fact that Manning showed at practice in late August doesn’t mean the Colts troubles are over. After becoming the first NFL team to win more than 12 games in five straight seasons, Indianapolis has become the model of consistency in professional football. This season might prove different however as the Colts we all know and love have suddenly become somewhat of an enigma.
The health of defensive end Dwight Freeney’s foot is a mystery. There is no guarantee his blinding speed will return after his November Lisfranc surgery.
Future Hall of Famer Marvin Harrison’s physical health coupled with the unsuspected Pacer-like gift he gave Colts fans during the off-season are both riddles we are yet to solve as well.
Make no mistake about it Harrison and Freeney are vital to the Colts success; not unlike that one weird guy who paints his entire body blue on gamedays (If that happens to be you, we mean weird in the best possible way).
Confounding matters for Indianapolis is the fact that heading into the season their offensive line is missing more pieces than a garage sale jigsaw puzzle. As Guard Ryan Lilja is recovering from off season knee surgery All-Pro center Jeff Saturday is limping his way to the injured list. All this hopping around ultimately means an unproven rookie might be charged with the responsibility of protecting Manning and his one good knee when the season opens.
But alas, the Colts are more than wins and losses, a new stadium and an unwelcomed restaurant tax. To borrow a line from former Mayor Bart Peterson, Peyton and the Colts “bring Hoosiers together”. They put neighbors on a common ground that is sometimes difficult to find without the familiar buzz of Bob Lamey’s voice ringing in our ears. What Irsay, Polian, and Dungy have built in Indianapolis is something special. Enjoy them now. They are a beast the likes of which we may not see again soon. With this in mind, Colts fans should relish all the Mondays they have left on which to discuss the Sundays that Manning took snaps from Saturday.