Time for Colts to sleep in the bed they made

First appeared on September 28th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Don’t do it. Whatever happens, don’t fall into that trap. After all those years of practicing, it’s time to call upon your mad “Pitfall” skills by grabbing that vine and swinging over the trap door. Yes it’s been ugly and no Superman isn’t walking through that door anytime soon, but now is not the time to feel sorry for the Colts. The players maybe, but the organization definitely not.

If you want to feel sorry for someone try the people of Zimbabwe or all those who have received a re-gifted copy of Hilary Clinton’s autobiography as a belated birthday gift (not that the dog-eared pages were a dead giveaway or anything). Feel sorry for Fans of 'All My Children' or the kid whose parents are so cheap he’s forced to wear a black trash bag for Halloween, telling everyone he’s a meteorite while answering the same question 146 times: “now are you the one that hits Earth, or is that a meteoroid?” But don’t feel sorry for the Colts.

The day so many spoke of so often, the day all the talking heads warned would be here sooner rather than later has arrived. The moment Patriots fans all over the world have longed for in a not so secretive, Dick Cheney wants to go to war with someone-like manner has finally come. Peyton Manning can’t lace them up.

And while Sunday’s game went a long way towards keeping many Colts fans from slamming the door on the season, the clear reality now is this team won’t be very good this year. I don’t care how many tackles Joseph Addai plans on breaking (Sunday night was the hardest he’s ran since his rookie year) or how far Pat McAffee can kick the football, the Colts will struggle. Even if Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis have record setting sack totals this season; this team will still struggle.

The cold hard truth is a series of unfortunate events have not put the Colts in this predicament. The Colts have no one to blame but themselves. They’re the ones who sent Jim Sorgi packing. They’re the ones who did not give Curtis Painter more reps in practice or, more importantly, some game time experience in all those 37-10 routs in which Manning held on to the very end racking up his sick stats.

They were the ones apparently hatching a plan to use Manning in Red Zone situations only instead of going into scramble mode to have a quarterback ready for the season. As a result, when it comes to running the offense with some level of comfort, Painter looks about as comfortable as Rick Perry trying to explain Mitt Romney’s penchant for flip-flopping.

The Colts organization are the ones who allowed Manning to usurp so much control he was basically quarterback, Team Captain, Offensive Coordinator, Quarterbacks Coach, Head Coach and head of Lucas Oil Stadium Security. So now it would seem the keys will be handed over to Painter. And while he did show signs of life Sunday night, he also missed a throw 57% of fans in attendance likely could have made. If there’s a silver lining for Colts fans it is found in the hope Painter’s story is yet to be written.

The good news in all of this is if the Colts go winless this year it will forever lay to rest the argument as to which is the better quarterback Manning or Brady; the bad news is you will have plenty of chances to watch them go winless as they will play 5 games this season in Prime Time.


© 2011 Eric Walker Williams

Fever Breaks for Rare Title

First appeared on September 22nd, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

It has been a week of rarities in Indiana. First five Hudsonian Godwits were spotted at Goose Pond stopping along their way to South America. For those who don’t know, a Godwit or Limosa haemastica, is a large Arctic Shorebird with long legs and an upturned pink bill used to feed on insects and crustaceans living in shallow water and South America is the continent connected to North America.

Next the three major college football teams in the state all won a game on the same weekend (a feat that seemingly hasn’t happened since the Hoover Administration). This of course was followed by the Browns beating the Colts; which came like punch in the gut to Colts fans who were already doubled over from the kick in the man parts Houston gave them two weeks ago.

But as rare as all of these were, there remains in the Hoosier State something much more Halley’s Comet-like. Something so rare it makes Sasquatch sightings seem as ubiquitous as a corner Starbucks or bad drivers sporting “In God We Trust” license plates.

Yes, something I daresay is even more rare than a Republican Presidential candidate who is qualified, experienced enough, demonstrates mass appeal, speaks eloquently, possesses unique ideas and is capable of debating something intelligently besides the economy.

Of course we’re talking about a team in Indiana with a chance of winning a championship.
And, after Monday night’s 72-62 victory over the New York Liberty in Game 3 of the opening round of the WNBA Playoffs, the only hope of a Championship Hoosiers have now ride on the Indiana Fever.

Despite being the number 1 seed, Indiana had to exorcise some serious demons to eliminate the Liberty. First there was the nightmarish memory of last year’s First Round bow out compliments of New York. Then there was the Liberty’s pugnacious point guard Cappie Pondexter who, it would seem, has owned the Fever longer than Herb Simon. Pondexter not only killed Indiana last year with stellar play and timely shooting as New York’s floor general, she also guided the Phoenix Mercury team that defeated Indiana in the WNBA Finals two years ago.

She’s the Yin to Lin Dunn’s Yang. The thorn in the side of Katie Douglas and a small chunk of lightning quick kryptonite, with great court awareness and scoring ability, for Indiana’s Superwoman (Tamikia Catchings). But alas, Pondexter is firmly in the rearview mirror and now the Fever seem born anew heading into Thursday night’s match up with the Atlanta Soul.

In Monday night’s series clinching win Catchings had 17 points and 8 rebounds. But more than anything her effort and energy levels inspired passionate play from her teammates. Spunky point guard Erin Phillips nabbed a career high 5 steals while Douglas, the other half of Indiana’s two headed monster, used her silky smooth jumper to run in 21 points. Beyond the 5 steals, Phillips also helped reign in the turnovers that sank Indiana’s chances during Game 2 in Madison Square Garden.

So now the Fever find themselves in the Eastern Conference Finals again. And as the defending Eastern Conference Champion and overall number 3 seed, Atlanta is no slouch. To slide by the Soul they’ll need to slow down Angel McCoughtry. Dunn and her staff have 48 hours to figure out how to stop the 14 points per game McCoughtry has been netting in the playoffs to this point.

Meanwhile as rare as Championships in Indiana may be, when the Fever return to action they’ll do so with the Title hopes of 6 million Hoosiers resting squarely on their backs.


© 2011 Eric Walker Williams

Colts Fans, climb down from the ledge

First appeared on September 8th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

So Peyton Manning won’t be playing Sunday when the Colts head to Houston. And, in true Colt fashion, it’s incredibly unclear when he’ll play again. The most amazing news we saw over the weekend wasn’t the fact that the only true (and by true we mean non-medicated) Cal Ripken of Football (Manning) wouldn’t be ready for the season opener; rather it was that Colts fans by the thousands rushed for the window ledge upon hearing the news.

This team deserves more. For over a decade we’ve come to expect two things from the Colts. 1. They will suck in the preseason and 2. They will win 10 games and make the playoffs. So many of us have dismissed their record string of winning seasons and record shattering performance of their quarterback as the norm.

The Colts have gone from playing in front of bag faced losers to changing the sports mindset of an entire state. The hiring of Bill Polian and drafting of Peyton Manning (of which came first I am admittedly too lazy to research) brought forth torrential rains to what was once a football desert (i.e. Indiana). Football was an afterthought in this state before the Colts began their historic run. Now Hoosiers everywhere are wandering through lush meadows filled with Wing T terminology and pausing to sniff the flowering buds of the Cover Two Zone.

All because a once floundering franchise changed their fortunes so fortuitously. And just when these Colts need you most, where are you? Hiking a leg over the gunwale to abandon ship? Scrabbling for a folding chair to bust a window out of the building you are convinced is on fire?

The buzz around the state right now isn’t about the Colts playing in the only Super Bowl Indy will ever host. Rather it’s more about Manning’s career being over and whether or not the Colts will win a game before Halloween.

These guys deserve more. For well over a decade they’ve given you everything they have and now, in what appears a desperate time, you need to give them everything you have. If you’ve ever flirted with the idea of painting your face blue at work now’s the time to do it (give your boss my editor’s number if he mentions your name and termination in the same sentence). If you’ve yet to see a Colts game in Lucas Oil Stadium, now‘s the time to go.

In short the season is not over. If anything, it just got more interesting. 10 to 1 says Jim Caldwell has already hit his guys with John Blutarsky’s motivational speech from Animal House. The one where that notorious underdog so deftly opined “was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!?”

So Manning’s staying home with his wife and newborn twins. That mean’s only 1 of their 4 pro-bowlers is knee deep in diapers, they still have talented players and a veteran quarterback with enough experience to keep them in games. Don’t underestimate the immeasurable fact that the heart of a champion still bleeds blue under every jersey that will see the field Sunday in Houston either.

If you’re still unconvinced of the importance of maintaining your support for the Colts you’re likely spoiled by their excellence or unable to read English. In the case of the latter-caminar sustantivos!

It won’t be easy and it may be ugly- but come what may there remains one person this team should always be able to count on- you (provided of course you are a Colts fan, of which I am guessing you are considering you’re still reading this).

Dear Curtis Painter

First appeared on September 1st, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Dear Curtis Painter,

My name is Johnny. I’m in the 3rd grade at Riley Elementary. My dad loves you. He talks about you all the time. Every game you play, he says your name more than any other player on the field!

Dad even named our new pup after you. Well his name was Leroy until he started wetting all over the carpet. That’s when Dad started calling him Curtis and hitting him with a rolled up newspaper.

My Mom’s a big Colts fan too. She made Dad a little doll wearing your jersey. It even has long blonde hair just like you! Dad lets mom keep all her stick pins and sewing needles stuck in you so she don’t lose them. That shows you how important you are to them.

Dad knows all your stats by heart. Your zero career touchdowns, 8 total completions in 2 seasons and your 2 interceptions and 2 fumbles lost.
My Uncle Ronnie gave Dad your jersey for Christmas last year. It was pretty cool because Uncle Ronnie usually only gives gag gifts. Dad doesn’t wear it though, probably cause he don’t want to get it dirty.

When you played so good last week against the Packers Dad was real excited. He ran around the house screaming something about the “end of the world”. Mom was some kind of mad after Dad ran out and blew his paycheck on lottery tickets though.

I remember one time 2 years ago Dad took me to the Jets game. It was when you guys were undefeated. We didn’t get to stay the whole time. Dad was so excited when they put you in that he got chest pains and some guys had to take him away on a stretcher. I didn’t get to see the end of the game but it was still pretty cool because I got to ride in an ambulance.

Anyways my Dad’s turning 40. His birthday party is next week. I was wondering if you could come. How cool would it be if his favorite Colt was there? It is on Sunday the 11th. I’m guessing you won't have plans, after all the Colts ARE going to start Kerry Collins against Houston right?

Look forward to seeing you Curtis,

Johnny


© 2011 Eric Walker Williams