The First Pitch Heard Around the World

First appeared on October 29th, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

Some would say the end of George W. Bush’s term is looming on the horizon like a mirage in the desert. And, as we as a nation are busy straggling our way through the knee deep sand, it seems everyone from Oprah to Joe the Plumber are weighing in on W’s place in history. In the mold of every great ambulance chaser before us, we feel obliged to weigh in. This won’t be your run of the mill “he’s the worst president ever” diatribe those of us in the 35-105 age bracket have become so accustomed to hearing after a two term President rides off into the sunset. Consider this instead a comfy, warm your little heart bedtime story mother would have soothed you with on a dark stormy night.
Once upon a time in the year 2001 there lived the son of a former King who had stolen the throne from the man who invented the internet. In all seriousness the fall of 2001 is a time we never want to relive. September 11th was a seminal moment in the lives of so many people and the days, weeks and months that followed that horrific day still resonate with many.
For us one of clearest memories of that time was the uncertainty that loomed over our world. Most were of the opinion that it wasn’t a matter of if, but when another attack would come and, say what you want about the guy now, George W. Bush was solid as a rock during the darkest hours of our time. His calling Al Queda a “faceless enemy” and standing on the rubble of Ground Zero assuring the world that the United States would swing back are two powerful memories we have of those days. For us however, the most powerful moment of 43’s time at 1600 Pennsylvania came several weeks later.
In October of that year, the Arizona Diamondbacks and New York Yankees were fighting it out in the World Series. The first two games had been played at the BOB in Phoenix before the teams made their way to New York for game three. New York City hosting something of the magnitude of a World Series game just 48 days after the attacks of September 11th was certainly a shaky prospect at best.
It was a moment in time when Americans everywhere were clinging nervously to countless uncertainties. With their confidence shattered, many were on the hunt for someone to give them a boost back up on the wall. It was at this time that George W. Bush made one of the best decisions of his presidency. He agreed to throw out the first pitch at game three of the World Series.
Over 57,000 had gathered at Yankee Stadium on that cool October night. With 1200 police officers in attendance and a 34 mile wide no-fly zone around the stadium, there were still so many things that could have went wrong that night and yet perhaps that is what makes it all the more a powerful moment.
Moments after fans were treated to the sight of a Bald Eagle strafing an enormous American flag in centerfield, Bush entered. Just how many held their breath when the leader of the free world strolled onto the playing field will never be known. Clad in a jacket commemorating NYC firefighters as he took his perch on the mound, it wasn’t just the eyes of his countrymen, rather those of the entire world that were upon him. Chants of U-S-A, U-S-A were thundering around the stadium as he gave fans a thumbs up before firing what can only be described as a perfect strike to home plate.
In choosing to throw that pitch President Bush said more than let Game Three begin, he sent a message to the world that fear would always remain an emotion unfamiliar to Americans. From that moment on nothing would keep the U.S. from rising once again. As today marks the 7th anniversary of that powerful moment, perhaps we should all take time to look back on how far we’ve come.

Remembering Air WEBO

First appeared on October 22nd, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

Once upon a Halloween night the Indianapolis Colts pounded the Denver Bronco’s 55-23 behind the fancy footwork of a bespectacled Eric Dickerson who shredded the Bronco’s defense for 159 yards and four touchdowns. That game marked the debut for the city of Indianapolis on ABC’s Monday Night Football. Memories of that night for fans of the Western Boone Stars may be a bit more blurry as they were busy celebrating their victory over the Carroll Cougars in the opening round of sectional play.
The year was 1988. The sports world was buzzing about a home run Kirk Gibson had hit on one good leg and, in a moment that will live in political infamy, Lloyd Bensten had already told Dan Quayle: “Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.” In our small corner of the world “Air WEBO” was all the rage. After a dismal 1-8 season just two years previous, first year Coach Jeff Pearson had his Western Boone Stars carving up opponents and shattering records on their way to a magical 13-1 season that ended in storybook fashion on the turf of the Hoosier Dome.
By the third week in September, after pounding Lebanon 34-0, the Stars found themselves ranked ninth in 2A. Behind the strong quarterback play of David McClaine Western Boone was blasting opposing defenses with an explosive offense. McClaine’s name would ultimately be cemented in the record book with various Webo titles including most passing yards for a career (2450) and most touchdowns in a season (26). Pearson’s 1988 team also featured a 1,000 yard rusher in Travis Hollingsworth and a 1,000 yard receiver in Troy Martin.
In the second round of Sectional play the Stars ran into another offensive juggernaut in the Greencastle Tiger Cubs. In a thrilling game that saw 862 yards of total offense between the schools, the Stars came away with a 47-32 victory. On that night Air Webo gave way to a more traditional football attack as the two headed monster of Tim Weber and Travis Hollingsworth rushed for three touchdowns and nearly two hundred yards; each.
By the time they hit the Sectional Championship the Stars had rocketed their way to number four amongst 2A teams and the match up with ninth ranked Delphi was like a 60:00 advertisement for Pepto-Bismol as Webo escaped with a 14-6 win. And, just as the offense had carried Webo to that point, it was the defense that would ultimately carry them on. In preserving a 14-6 win, twice that evening the Oracles had first and goal possessions inside the 20 and twice the Stars stuffed them.
Surely nobody complained about the long car ride to Manchester College a week later as David McClaine and Troy Martin definitely made it a trip to remember by connecting on 5 touchdown passes en route to a 41-12 victory. Finally the Woodlan Warriors were all that stood between the Stars and a trip to the Hoosier Dome.
Ultimately the Stars locker room proved full of heroes that season as every game somebody new seemingly stepped forward. Fans may remember Kon Humphrey limping around on one good leg late in the game as the Warriors threatened to end Webo’s season. Despite a twisted ankle, Humphrey was able to drop the Woodlan Quarterback twice behind the line of scrimmage, thus punching the Star’s ticket to Indianapolis.
The Hoosier Dome, which still had that “new dome smell” at that point, served as the setting for the Stars championship match up with South Spencer. In another tight game, McClaine threw for 248 yards and a touchdown. The Quarterback would go on to win the Phil N. Eskew Mental Attitude Award and, more importantly, his team won state beating South Spencer 14-7.

Big Ten Rivalries Second to None

First appeared on October 15th, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

Some will be excited to know the Paul Bunyan Trophy will be up for grabs yet again come Saturday. A few weeks ago, with as much sophistication as one can expect, Michigan State spat a tar black glob of Beechnut in the eye of the Indiana Hoosiers while laying claim to the Old Brass Spittoon. Football rivalries and the hokey trophies that accompany them are nothing new and over the years Big Ten football teams have traded everything from Tomahawks and cannons to slabs of bacon, bronzed pigs and victory bells.
Upon further review, the stories behind these fabled trophies can be interesting and that’s where we come in, to provide your hokey Big Ten trophy fix. The oldest traded symbol of greatness in a single Big Ten football game is the Little Brown Jug. Most won’t remember Michigan bringing their high powered “Point a Minute” offense to Minnesota for a highly anticipated contest in 1903. Fearing a cavorting band of rabid Gopher fans might try sabotaging his team, Michigan’s coach sent a manager out to purchase a plain looking jug in which they could hide their water. After torrential rains arrived, a 6-6 tie ensued and the Wolverines fled for safety as the aforementioned rabid Gopher fans stormed the field. Unlike school children under the watch of George W. Bush, the Little Brown Jug was intentionally left behind and has been up for grabs since.
Aside from the Little Brown Jug, which is actually only half brown, Minnesota is part of some of the most interesting trophy swaps in the conference. The Gophers battle Wisconsin every year for Paul Bunyan’s Axe. The Axe had been playing second fiddle to a slab of wooden bacon the schools were trading until the fake bacon disappeared, only to resurface almost 50 years later (Yes, how bizarre indeed).
Perhaps the most interesting of all trophies in the Conference is Floyd of Rosedale. This bronze pig dates back to 1935 when the governors of Iowa and Minnesota first agreed upon their “Fred Ziffel Like” wager. An artist was actually commissioned to sculpt the live version of the original pig who, some might say remarkably, was actually the brother of another superstar swine who had co-starred alongside Will Rogers in the 1933 blockbuster hit State Fair.
Of course Hoosiers are no doubt most familiar with the Old Oaken Bucket. Believe it or not, the Bucket was actually the brainchild of a gathering of alums from both schools. Viewed as the ultimate symbol of Indiana’s rural traditions, the Bucket itself was rescued from the well of a southern Indiana farm in 1925. Legend has it the Old Oaken Bucket was actually used to carry water for Union troops during the Civil War. Unfortunately constraints placed upon us by the editors of this fine newspaper prevent our printing of the all time record of Oaken Bucket games here. However, what we can say is that the much ballyhooed bucket is currently in the possession of our beloved Hoosiers.
To commemorate their on field skirmishes, Illinois and Ohio State chose the path not taken. Though the schools settled on a creature revered for its longevity, hindsight tells us choosing a live trophy to swap was a bad idea. When the turtle they picked in 1925 died two seasons later, non-existent pressure from the yet to be formed PETA forced them to carve a wooden replica. Since that time 9 Illibucks have been handcrafted, each complete with the outcomes of every Illini-Buckeye football game painted on their shells.
Of course some rivalries are so bitter that trophies are meaningless. Michigan and Ohio State is perhaps the ugliest and most heated rivalry in all of college sports, let alone the Big Ten. With this in mind no trophy is necessary. And, while they are symbolically quaint, in truth the aforementioned game is a convenient truth that trophies don’t mean diddly in the long run. They are an antiquated symbol of someone’s short term success, that being said we might as well go ahead and keep the Bucket in Bloomington.

The Age of Prognostication is Upon Us

First appeared on October 8th, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

Evidently the age of prognostication is upon us. That’s right its time to blow the dust off those Tarot cards, Ouija boards and crystal balls so you too can start guessing what will happen next. Between the baseball playoffs and a new NFL season, predictions have been tossed about haphazardly by former players and sportswriters alike around the nation; throw in a presidential election and what you have is the perfect storm for predictionators (Ok, not a word, but we’re going to use it anyway).
Suddenly predictions are everywhere, or ubiquitous for those of you “daily word calendar people”. Some predictionators are obviously better than others and those who make the big time aren’t always the best. What has us flustered is the fact that there is no accountability in this whole prediction making scam.
As we trip down memory lane some might remember ESPN personality Tony Kornheiser, of PTI and Monday Night Football fame, incorrectly predicting Big Brown would win the Triple Crown. Evidently there is a recall on NBA analyst Stephen A. Smith’s crystal ball that he’s not aware of because it was obviously wrong when he looked into it and saw the Lakers winning a title last season.
Perhaps the gold standard for predictionators is former CBS college basketball analyst Billy Packer who, early in last year’s men’s tournament, theorized the poor free throw shooting of the Memphis Tigers would not hurt their chances of winning a title. When the Tigers went 1 for 5 from the foul line in the last 2 minutes of this years championship game and consequently lost to Kansas, believe us, nobody was happier to see Packer eat a healthy plate of crow with a side order of his own words.
Last week MSNBC analyst and radical mouthpiece for the liberal media Keith Olbermann incorrectly predicted that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s performance in the VP debate would all but swamp John McCain’s ship. Not to be outdone, both Ron Jaworksi and Chris Mortensen of ESPN put their intricate knowledge of the NFL on display this week by choosing the Houston Texans to beat a 1-2 Indianapolis team that was already backed in a corner and licking their wounds. Nice call boys.
It all has us wondering just what it takes to be a predictionator. Is it remotely possible that we are qualified? Nobody can know for sure, so we might as well try. We predict that on January 20th George W. Bush will be evicted from the White House. We predict that sales of IPOD’s will continue to outperform those of 8 Track players for the foreseeable future. We predict that the mullet will never make a comeback (That prediction applies only to those living north of U.S. 40 of course). We believe Antarctica’s Ross Ice Shelf will replace Hawaii as the “it” destination for honeymooners before Rosie and the gals at The View ever patch things up. We also predict Bill Gates will die with more money than us.
Of course some will remember that earlier in the year we chose the Cubs to win it all in 2008. We will pause now as the laughing subsides. In retrospect this was an obvious mistake that was made with our heart and not our head. What makes it less of an obvious mistake in our eyes however was ESPN baseball guru Tim Kurkjian making the same prediction before the playoffs began. Kurkjian will be in the Hall of Fame someday and that has to mean something; though we’re not sure what exactly. So for now it’s a premature fare thee well Predictionators-enjoy the age of prognostication while it lasts for this too shall pass; or so we predict.

There's No Place Like Dome

First appeared on October 1st, 2008
in The Lebanon Reporter

A penny for the thoughts of those dignitaries gathered for the deflation of the Hoosier Dome last week. In a moment of extreme peculiarity, former Indianapolis Mayor Bill Hudnut emphatically commanded the fans supporting the dome’s dome to be shut down as if what was to follow would be a thrilling sight. What we saw instead was an anti-climactic moment best compared to watching the instant replay of a three toed sloth running the 100 yard dash; in slow motion. It literally took the dome’s roof hours to deflate.
In building the Luke Indianapolis got it right, in deflating the dome they didn’t. She deserved more. If they had put us in charge of bringing the world’s largest swim cap down, we’d of sent her out in style. Imagine a trio of A-10 Tank Killers coming in from Grissom Air Force Base to bomb that concrete cereal bowl back to the Stone Age. At the very least we would have asked those Big Bang scientists in Switzerland (since they are evidently bent on flirting with the end of the world anyway) to trigger an explosion that would alter the course of the Earth just enough to send an asteroid the size of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan careening into the Dome.
Alas the death of the Dome is upon us. After four Final Fours, countless state finals in both high school athletics and marching band competitions, 1 NBA All Star game, and professional football memories that run the gamut from fans chanting “Lord Help our Colts” with grocery sacks on their heads to the interception that sent those same laughable losers to the Super Bowl, the Dome has seen it all. Where else could Rowdy Roddy Piper, auto mechanics dressed in star wars garb, car flattening monster trucks, rodeo clowns, the Rolling Stones and the sight of Bobby Knight and Gene Keady thumbing their noses in unison at the Big Ten by agreeing to an unscheduled game come together outside of one long, strange and admittedly complicated dream?
We’re talking about the Hoosier Dome. She was supposed to last forever. An awe-inspiring architectural achievement on the same level as the Sydney Opera House or Notre Dame- a testament to longevity, not unlike the pyramids of Giza, John McCain or China’s Great Wall; OK so maybe not. But it was still cool.
One of the clearest memories we have of the Dome is Damon Bailey and Bedford North Lawrence High School winning state in front of a record crowd of 40,000 plus fans (rest in peace single class basketball). Some may remember, upon her dedication, the first event was a football game between the Boilermakers of Purdue and Notre Dame. Purdue fans will surely recall that 1984 game because, as far as we know, it marks the last time they beat the Irish.
In that same year 67,000 Hoosiers saw an Olympic exhibition featuring Indiana legends Steve Alford and Larry Bird playing in a game coached by Bobby Knight. Hoosiers everywhere suffered a collective punch in the gut as, just like Prince, the Dome experienced an identity crisis in the 90’s when RCA purchased the naming rights to their beloved Hoosier Dome. Reportedly the lucrative deal included two hundred dollars and 11,000 Betamax VCR’s and, in retrospect, who really could have turned that down?
Now with the roof gone Indy suddenly finds itself home to the world’s largest concrete planter and fans are left with no choice but to turn the page. We are told the Luke is bigger, better, more expensive and has twice as many urinals, but a part of us will always long for the refreshing, albeit artificial, breeze of the Hoosier Dome. In the words of someone else there is, and always will be, no place like Dome.