In Cody We Trust

First appeared on November 18th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to make the NCAA Tournament, the wretched refuse of yesteryear’s glory, send these, the hopeless non-believers to me as I hoist my jump hook outside the golden door of newfound glory. After just 2 games as an Indiana Hoosier, this is the inscription 6’11 Indiana Freshman Cody Zeller needs bronzed across his chest.

After totaling 23 points, 15 rebounds, 9 steals and 3 blocks over the weekend Zeller had no sooner taken his Superman cape off when he was named Big 10 Freshman of the week. The reigning Mr. Basketball has quickly risen like a Statue of Liberty over the harbor of ill content that was beginning to pool in Bloomington after Tom Crean had muddled his way through three straight losing seasons. Now Zeller stands larger than life, welcoming all Indiana Hoosier fans back.

For those who donated their candy stripe pants and giant crimson foam fingers to the town Time Capsule, the time has come to scramble to the courthouse grounds and excavate that thing faster than a Grave Digger being paid by the inch. All those Knight apologists who chased Mike Davis out of town before burying their heads in shame when Kelvin Sampson dropped an atomic bomb on every fundamental Indiana University was built upon, the doors are open and the time has come to return.

For all those who have routinely checked themselves into the Witness Protection Program every March for the last 10 years, the time has come to crawl out from whatever remote hole in the Earth the FBI has you stuffed you in (unless you are in a tropical location that has access to the Big Ten Network and ESPN, in which case- stay put). For the others, pick yourselves up, your bodies numb from the atrophy that lifeless basketball can so easily cause, wipe away the tears of frustration that have long since crusted upon your cheeks, pry open your eyes which have grown shut after 10 long years with no good reason, or basketball, to remain open, come forth now and let the world know who you are. Say it with me…”I am an IU fan.”

Understandably strong outings against Stony Brook and Chattanooga a National Champion does not make. But for the first in a great, long, let us never speak of this again, time, there is hope in Hoosier land. Zeller will not singlehandedly bring Indiana basketball back to relevance, but after seeing the emergence of Victor Oladipo and Will Sheehey, he may have more help than anyone anticipated.

Oladipo was the Big Ten’s player of the week after torching Stony Brook and Chattanooga for 37 points while Sheehey continues to develop as a player skilled in both the mid range and slashing game. These pieces coupled with Christian Watford, who was the most promising talent Crean brought to Bloomington in the B.C. (Before Cody) era, and what you have is a group of players who can both score and defend. A solid point guard who can stick open shots in Jordan Hulls rounds out what should be the core of an exciting team.

But clearly it all begins and ends with Zeller. Obvious proof that Tom Crean understands this is the fact he forced his teams to have his big man touch the ball before any of their baskets counted during practice scrimmages. The Hoosiers may not be ranked #1 anytime soon, but at minimum Zeller appears to be enough to get butts back in the seats; and for Tom Crean that should feel liberating enough.








© 2011 Eric Walker Williams

Beyond the Land of Correctable Errors

First appeared on November 9th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Stress. Sleepless nights. Bags under the eyes. Worried about the tired voices crying out for change. You may think these words refer to embattled Colts coach Jim Caldwell, but in reality I’m actually talking about myself. For those who don’t read Who’s Who in Newborn America or Future U.S. Presidents Illustrated, my wife and I welcomed twin sons home a couple weeks ago and, as you can likely guess, much has changed since.

In the interest of full disclosure I’m admitting now that 3:30 a.m. feedings are the only reason I know who Matthew Lesko is. It was also during one of these blurry-eyed adventures that, whilst bathed in the flickering blue light of a muted television, the idea to get my wife a Robo-Stir for Christmas and outfit my mother-in-law in some Pajama Jeans came to me like the vision of a majestic White Buffalo charging through our dimly lit bedroom.

The unfortunate thing here is that as effective as the world of late night infomercials are at sneaking their way into our pocketbooks, they cannot offer any help to the 2011 Indianapolis Colts. Trust me, I’m pretty sure Jim Irsay has already looked into it. I think we can all agree the Magic Jack, Richard Simmons and the Juiceman are all practical commodities, but they are of no use to the Colts. And lord knows Irsay wants no part of the FlowBee.

While the longevity and consistency of Madam Cleo and Matthew Lesko have allowed both to stake their place on the Mt. Rushmore of bad late-late night TV, in the short time my sons were baking in the oven alone the Colts have fallen from their perch on the Mt. Rushmore of enviable NFL franchises. In 9 short months, the Colts have gone from a World Championship franchise with world class players and a state of the art front office to the dumpster-fire-like 0-7 shell of its former self they were the day my sons were born.

Unfortunately there is no “magic bullet” large enough for the Colts to pour their season into in order to blend it up into a better, more palatable form of itself. Instead they are only left to salvage what they can from what’s left of this campaign; or place everyone they have on the physically unable to perform list, sign a bunch of UPS drivers and begin negotiations with Andrew Luck’s agent.

The next three weeks are key if Caldwell is going to win another game as an NFL coach. If they lose the next two games (Home to Jacksonville, Bye, Home to Carolina) they will not win a game this year. After Carolina, 3 of their next 5 games are against current division leaders. In other words 3 of the next 5 games are against teams they would lose to 100 times out of 100.

This team is beyond the land of “correctable errors”. They are currently a runaway locomotive screaming through the depths of “soul searching” valley with no stations in sight along the way to “contemplation of retirement”-ville.

How strange would it be if the Colts headed into week 17 with an 0-15 record? Would Manning actually suit up and take the field to help them avoid an 0-16 season in much the same way Curtis Painter stepped in to help them forfeit their 16-0 season in 2009? Probably not, the Colts franchise is above records after all; or at least it was at one time.

© 2011 Eric Walker Williams