Down go the Lakers

First appeared on May 12th, 2011
in The Lebanon Reporter

Following a shocking 122-86 loss to the Mavericks Sunday the two time defending champion Lakers were swept out of the playoffs. Thus ending the quest for the third ‘3 Peat’ in Franchise history. The loss also likely signifies the end for the greatest basketball coach in a generation. And while it doesn’t close the door on Kobe Bryant’s legacy building days, it certainly has jarred the doorstop loose.


But before you break out the cheap wine and Kleenex, let’s remember these are the Lakers. Is it possible for anyone in the Midwest to shed a tear for these guys? After all L.A. does fly in the face of everything the Midwest stands for. Glitz, glamour, wearing ones sunglasses indoors, these are not things that sit well with us.

We didn’t understand Magic Johnson’s no-look passes or Pat Riley’s $500 suits and slicked back hair. The disgust that surfaced for the Lakers in 2000 when our beloved Pacers made the Finals was not as much a reaction to the red carpet treatment Bryant was getting from referees as much as it was a strong dislike long harbored since the summer of ’87. That year L.A. denied Larry Bird his fourth ring during the last championship appearance he would make as a Celtic.

To us the Lakers are simply the Yankees of professional basketball. Ours is a place where plastic surgery is reserved for farm accidents and anyone who shows up wearing Donald Sutherland’s white sunglasses and black and white checkered coat with matching Fedora would find “Hoosier Hospitality” involves a padded room.

That being said, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Certainly Commissioner Stern feels the same and knows full well the death of the Lakers may mean the death of ratings as well. As much as I hate L.A. and wanted to see them lose, I wanted it to happen on the biggest of stages; not in the second round of the Playoffs. And how strange the Lakers should fall to the Mavericks and owner Mark Cuban. After all Cuban has long shopped his conspiracy theory that league officiating protects players like Byrant and teams like LA. The only thing more ironic than Cuban’s team hurdling the Lakers is Ron Artest clothes-lining J.J. Barea a week after the NBA handed Ron-Ron their citizenship award.

A Lakers team vying for a Three Peat staring down Miami’s “Big Three” in the Finals would have been a ratings bonanza. This is what everyone wanted. Bryant and LeBron exchanging highlight dunks as Zydrunas Ilgauskas would be, well apparently clanging 19 foot jumpers and committing 3 or 4 over the back fouls each night, not the type of eye-popping performance we’re looking for so let’s leave him out of this for now.

The point here is surely a Lakers-Heat Finals is what Stern wanted. But it would seem ever since Tim Donaghy danced with Lady Justice, nothing has gone according to planned in the Association. The Spurs and Lakers had combined to win 9 of the last 12 NBA Titles and they’re both golfing now.

So what’s next? Phil will likely ride off into the sunset, or into the sunrise I suppose since he does live in L.A., Lamar Odom has his part time gig on the E Channel to fall back on and Kobe Bryant is well-Kobe Bryant. It was just surreal to watch the two-time defending champs wilt like a Pansy. An addled performance rife with blank stares and emotionless effort. After all it is Hollywood, you’d think the Lakers could at least sign someone to act like they care.