It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world...for wide receivers anyway

First appeared on September 2nd, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

Pardon my Seinfeld but what’s the deal with wide receivers? Is “Receivers will be self-centered and nonconformist” chiseled somewhere into the ten commandments of football below “Brett Favre Shall Play”? When Denver Bronco Brandon Marshall refuses to do the one thing he is paid for (catch passes) and Terrell Owens takes it upon himself to weigh in on Commissioner Roger Goodell’s suspension of Michael Vick (when virtually none of the other 1600 players in the league felt the need to do so) receivers as a whole once again find themselves on the outside looking in at the real world.
Between fake cell phone calls in the end zone, the demanding of both trades and more touches, Chad Johnson lobbying the league to change his name to a jersey number and Marshall batting practice passes away like an angry toddler, this whole “wide receivers playing the diva” thing has gotten old. Somewhere down the line receivers got it in their heads that fans actually care what they have to say. And somewhere down that same line they forgot that all fans really care about is how many balls they catch on Sundays.
How many times will receivers let their mouths write checks their abilities can’t cash? I’m not sure about you, but if somebody tells me “let’s take this out in the street”, I’m taking a punter with me before a wide receiver. At least punters have to try and tackle somebody once in a while. I mean most receivers don’t even wear thigh pads- so really, how tough could they be?
We probably have only ourselves to blame. After all Hollywood was able to find a focus group somewhere (cave dwellers we can only assume) that agreed giving Terrell Owens his own reality show was a good idea. T.O. at the Laundromat, T.O waiting in the drive through. Really? We can’t even be certain the last time Owens was fully in touch with reality so how can anyone sell his show to people as reality?
Of course it wouldn’t be August if Chad Johnson (or Ocho Cinco if you’re using the SAP button on your newspaper) wasn’t saying he will shatter NFL records again. Of course this year, as with all before, we will discover Johnson is nothing more than one year older (I’m guessing somewhere around week 3).
Even Marvin Harrison, who did nothing for 10 years but put up ridiculous numbers quietly, started getting weird near the end of his days in Indianapolis. And while Colts fans may have chuckled at Reggie Wayne showing up for training camp in a dump truck; one has to wonder how many were quietly sweating over fears Wayne would embrace his new role as “the guy” by promptly losing his mind.
Through fines and suspensions the Commissioner has labored to clean up the NFL’s image. Heck, he even went all Dick Cheney last year by having a secret meeting in an undisclosed location. All of this to polish the shield when simply eliminating the Wide Receiver position probably would have gone a lot further.
This isn’t meant to be an attack on characters. Characters are the ones who help us through the tough work days. But it’s getting to the point now that a wide receiver naturally feels pressure to be the prima donna. And just what do they have to boast about anyway? Last I checked it was quarterbacks like Tom Brady who were dating the supermodels. It’s time for receivers, like the lady who tried to compare President Obama’s policies to those of Hitler, to sit down and shut up.