The Most Frustrating Man in the World

first appeared on July 1st, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

When White Sox Shortstop Alexi Ramirez hit a run scoring single in the eighth inning of Saturday’s interleague game against the Cubs it marked the fourth blown save of the season for set up man Carlos Marmol. The hit was the beginning of a comeback that would help the Sox take two of three from the Cubs over the weekend. Marmol’s performance was a microcosm of the Cubs’ season. All year long the northisders have played well enough to win but by the time the Bleacher Bums have summoned the balance and concentration necessary to raise a celebratory toast, their team has somehow found a way to lose.
Marmol, a 27 year old right handed reliever who hails from the Dominican Republic, led the major leagues with 30 holds in 2008 and (despite a three week stretch in June when he appeared to be pitching with a blindfold on) threw like he was from another planet for most of last season. This year has been a completely different story for Marmol and all Cubs fans in general.
The Pitcher’s struggles are strangely reminiscent of the Dos Equis beer pitchman known as the “Most Interesting Man in the World” but instead of being interesting Marmol would definitley have to be the “Most Frustrating Man in the World”. In his first 8 innings of June Marmol surrendered 8 runs. Of course it goes without saying this is not good considering the expectation for a set up man is to preserve a team’s lead; a prerequisite of which would be to not give up any runs.
According to the commercials the Most Interesting Man in the World’s “reputation is expanding faster than the universe”. In Marmol’s case his reputation is without a doubt growing but it his ERA that is expanding faster than the universe. Much to the chagrin of Cubs fans and the Ice Road Truckers presumably, from 2007 to today the pitcher’s earned run average has mirrored ballooning gas prices as it has expanded from a rock solid 1.43 to a “soon to be greeting customers at Wal-Mart” 3.96.
The Most Interesting Man in the World “once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels”. Apparently in an effort to keep things interesting, Marmol once held a lead that was handed to him just to see how it feels. Of course we can’t hang all the Cubs’ troubles on The Most Frustrating Man in the World because that wouldn’t give me enough stuff to write about. Complimenting Marmol’s inconsistency well is the Cubs inability to hit or field like a major league team for most of the season. This is not to say they have not been worth the price of admission however. There have been exploding Gatorade machines, multiple live game balls tossed into the stands and witty barbs exchanged between members of the clubhouse that have served to keep things interesting.
So it goes for the Cubs as they limp towards the All Star break and a well earned chance to hole up and lick their wounds. There will be no part of this first half of the year worth remembering. Cubs historians will look back on this period and lament blown opportunities, blown saves and blown tops. Fortunately all that remains is 10 more games until we reach the second half. So can the Cubs pull things together and make a run for the playoffs or will their corpulent payroll and commonplace performance earn them the inauspicious title “New York Yankees of the National League”? We'll just have to wait and see, in the meantime-“stay thirsty my friends”.