A brief comparison of Hot Dogs and the NBA Draft

First appeared on July 8th, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

It was high drama on our nation’s birthday as Americans swelled with great pride over one of our most cherished traditions. Breathless onlookers were left speechless after witnessing Joey Chesnut versus the Hot Dog. Stretching the physical limits of his own intestinal track, Chesnut inhaled 68 dogs in 10 minutes while besting former champ and Japanese cultural phenomenon Kobayashi.
What followers of the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest may not realize is that former U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt actually served the same Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs Chesnut and Kobayashi dueled with on Saturday to the King and Queen of England in 1939. OK-so hopefully they weren’t the exact same dogs.
Watching Chesnut’s impressive inhalation of encased meat (imagine a wood chipper without the mess) was strangely reminiscent of another champion. A few weeks ago the Indiana Pacers selected former North Carolina power forward Tyler Hansbrough with the 13th overall pick in the NBA draft. For those unfamiliar with his game, Hansbrough attacks loose balls, opponents and the basket in much the same way Joey Chesnut would likely go after a street vendor’s Hot Dog cart.
As to be expected Hansbrough’s selection stirred a hornet’s nest of frenzied naysayers and sportswriters who can’t find anything else to write about in July. Amongst the most popular jabs being lobbed by critics is that today’s NBA is about athleticism and Hansbrough doesn’t fit that mold. Let’s be honest Tyler Hansbrough doesn’t fit any mold. In what may be the most obvious statement of the year Hansbrough simply just knows how to play basketball. And after being a three time First Team All American and North Carolina’s all time leading scorer, it would be an understatement to say he’s pretty good too.
Casual fans and avid You Tubers alike probably remember Hansbrough best for his remarkable dunk over the 7 foot 7 UNC Asheville center Kenny George (You Tube it now if you haven’t seen it), and to be sure it was a play that would never had happened if Hansbrough were not “athletic”. Real Carolina fans, you know the ones who actually know what a Tarheel is and not those who surface after a Final Four run with a new hundred and fifty dollar Starter jacket, remember him as the player teammates dubbed “Psycho T” for his reckless abandon on the basketball court.
“He’s too small” is a classic cut many draft analysts use when their proverbial ‘this guy won’t pan out’ gun is out of bullets. At 6’9 Hansbrough is the same size as Karl Malone and five inches taller than Charles Barkley standing on a phone book. Not to mention, anybody who can grab over 1,000 rebounds in a collegiate career is without a doubt big enough to get the job done.
Simply put forget his lack of size and anything else the critics may vomit up like a bad truck stop omlet, this was the right pick for the Pacers because more than anything Tyler Hansbrough is a winner. He won back to back state titles as a high schooler in Missouri and of course there was that National Championship in college last year. The largest missing piece from the Pacer locker room right now seems to be the “losing is not in my vocabulary” mentality Hansbrough carries. The good news is Pacer fans can rest safe knowing he will bring his “dominate or bust” attitude to practice and pregame workouts, he will bring it to the court every night and, while on the road, safe money says he’ll bring it to the hotel’s continental breakfast as well.