Welcome to the Finals Stan

First appeared on June 9th, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

It’s time to shut down all this talk about the NBA playoffs being rigged. Everybody (except Orlando Magic fans I’m assuming) wanted Kobe and LeBron in the Finals. David Stern wanted it, Kobe and LeBron wanted it, evidently Kim Jung IL wanted it too for as soon as the Cavaliers were eliminated he crawled back into his sandbox and started playing with his missiles again.
In lieu of a sexy Kobe and LeBron match up we have Stan Van Gundy. This alone should be proof enough the playoffs are not rigged. This is the Finals. You know the place where bright lights showcase Jack and his Wayfarers, the Laker Girls and Stan Van Gundy?
Outside of Donald Sutherland’s hats, Van Gundy is the oddest thing to hit the Finals since Dennis Rodman. Sporting a mustache reminiscent of some 70’s detective show his black T-shirt and dinner jacket fail miserably in masking the coach’s dumpy frame. In fact Van Gundy looks like someone who’d have been booed off stage after trying to play his Tuba on the Gong Show. But the guy can flat out coach. Against all conventional wisdom, he has taken a cast of guys other franchises gave up on and managed to worm his way to the Finals despite the alleged small market conspiracy.
While he may dress like the manager of a movie theatre, Van Gundy has gotten something out of Hedo Turkoglu both Sacramento and San Antonio couldn’t. The Turkish born forward’s numbers are up in almost every statistical category and, after stellar performances in these playoffs, he’s making a name for himself as a big stage player.
While some coaches sport suits tailored by Armani or Perry Ellis, Van Gundy’s wardrobe appears to be sponsored by a community yard sale. Despite this, Mickael Pietrus has found success under the coach’s tutelage. Coming over from France riding a wave of hype the guard found rough sledding in Golden State but, after signing with Orlando in the off season, Pietrus is suddenly a name NBA Scouts know how to spell.
With the media flooding Kobe Bryant for quotes and quips, the only calls Van Gundy is fielding these days are from Don Johnson saying he wants his look back. All things considered he’s lucky to be in the Finals at all. In 2005 his mentor Pat Riley allegedly forced him out of Miami. After watching Riles win a title, Van Gundy turned down the Pacers job because it looked like Orlando wanted him; then Billy Donovan happened. It fell to Van Gundy only after Donovan went all “Brett Favre” and changed his mind returning instead to the Florida Gators.
The man Shaquille O’Neal once called the “Master of Panic” due to a compulsion for wilting under the intense pressure of playoff basketball has made strides in putting an end to all that talk. Still Van Gundy remains an island in an ocean of player’s coaches. He’s one of the last old school- in your face- screamers. You know the type; that Little League coach who berates the 13 year old umpire.
Still Van Gundy has shown he’s not entirely an old dog at heart. After Dwight Howard was openly critical of him following their game five loss to Boston, it looked like the Magic were Chernobyl bound, but somehow Van Gundy found a way to spin it into a motivational tool. While their odds at winning the Finals are long, whatever Van Gundy did to save the Magic season has to be fodder for a great book. A great book that shouldn’t be judged by the cover.