Indiana and Purdue heading in opposite directions

First appeared on February 6th, 2015
in The Lebanon Reporter

Short people unite! Unite in an effort to reach items from the top shelf in the grocery store without knocking five other things off in the process, unite in the spirit of the young Eddie Gaedels’ and Herve Villechaizes’ everywhere, unite for the common defense of your kingdom full of mushroom shaped houses and half naked blue people.

Unite as the Purdue Boilermakers continue waging their war upon players blessed with inferior size. In a game that has mimicked the NBA by becoming increasingly smaller and more athletic, Purdue is quietly finding success going against the grain. While staying true to his core principles of a strong perimeter defense, Matt Painter has also ripped a page out of yesteryear by fielding a team with Wooden-like size.

Despite some early stumbles, Painter’s bunch seems to have finally embraced the role of bully on the block. Against Indiana especially, AJ Hammons and Isaac Haas looked out of place; almost like a tag team duo of Andre the Giant and Godzilla. Bullying their way to the basket with defenders bouncing off one after the other, the dynamic duo absorbed so much of Indiana’s defensive attention that several other Boilers, the ones who don’t look like Yao Ming stunt doubles, were able to worm their way to the goal with ease.

What Hammons and Haas did to Indiana a week ago was almost inhumane, bordered upon cruel and is illegal in 49 of the 50 states (last we checked the Ned Beatty Bill was still being debated in the Georgia State Senate). The impressive win also seemed to wake a sleeping giant (pun fully intended) as the Boilers have gone on to win three straight, including Wednesday night’s victory over another nationally ranked opponent in Ohio State.

But it all started a week ago by drumming Indiana in a game that kept Purdue’s season alive. It was also a victory Painter likely needed to avoid finding an email in his inbox with the subject line: “Pick up change of address form”. And while Hammons and Haas have anchored the interior, off-season transfer Jon Octeus has been a pleasant surprise as a defender with length and athleticism as well as a point guard who brings an attitude to the floor.

And while the win has injected life into Painter’s team, the opposite can be said for Tom Crean’s Indiana Hoosiers. Losers of 3 out of their last 4, Indiana suddenly finds themselves in a similar position to Purdue a week ago. In fact, it’s almost as if the two have passed each other on an escalator.

Indiana had spent much of their year riding the up escalator, but for some reason have changed their minds and hopped the rail. The Hoosiers knew coming in to the season their lack of size would present challenges. Unfortunately this has never been more apparent than this past week as Purdue manhandled the Hoosiers before Wisconsin flirted with embarrassing them. Things were so bad that, five minutes into the Purdue game, short men everywhere quietly slipped into the restroom to stuff more folded up paper towel into the bottoms of their shoes.

So now Indiana finds themselves fighting to get off the down escalator. Sunday’s date with Michigan suddenly has ‘must win’ written all over it with a road trip to Maryland and home date against Purdue looming on the horizon.
With all eyes on the up escalator, one has to wonder where it leads. It could be the NCAA Tournament, it could be the home house wares section of Kohl’s. The down escalator is a far different story. The down escalator is crowded with empty wallets, angry shoppers and screaming kids. The Down escalator is a comfortable ride to nowhere and remains the one place Tom Crean and Matt Painter can’t afford to be.

© 2015 Eric Walker Williams