Indiana's "To Do" List quite lengthy

First appeared on November 7th, 2012
in The Lebanon Reporter

Dear Purdue,

This is Indiana. In case you haven’t heard I’m the national preseason number one in Men’s College Basketball. Save your congratulations; they’re not necessary and would be neither genuine nor heartfelt. I know what you’re thinking and I agree, it’s been a long time since I’ve been looking down on so many people, including yourself.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know I have big plans for this season. And when I say “big plans” I mean big as in a 1976 kind of big. Yogi Ferrell, Jeremy Hollowell and Hanner Perea are part of the best recruiting class I’ve had in a long time and, oh yeah, they’ll team up with the Preseason player of the year Cody Zeller; so I’ve got that going for me.

Clearly I’ll be dangerous, after all why else would Kentucky be dodging me? Look, I’ll be frank, ours is a checkered past. And I don’t just mean that whole “We have Five National Championships” and “You have more Big Ten Titles” deal. We had a good run with that one guy in the sweater and the other guy who liked to toss his jacket into the stands, but this is not 1989. From the Duel in the Dome to the seventeen point beat down I left in the comb-over’s mouth after the last chance he ever had at beating me, it’s been fun but now it’s time for the dawning of a new era.

Let me cut to the chase. I don’t plan on showing any mercy this year. I’ve taken my lumps for far too long. Everyone from Lipscomb to Penn State has gotten their licks in and now I’ve got a long list of people who are going to pay for all that’s happened since my fall from grace. And I’ll be honest your name’s on it (remember the sweeps of 2010 and 11? I do). Your cell phone jokes are tired by the way; it’s time to get some new material.

This is going to be a big season for me. I plan on winning my first Big Ten Title since 2002 while also notching my first Conference Player of the Year since 2007. I plan to win my first Big Ten Tournament Title after snapping a twenty year losing streak at Michigan State’s Breslin Center. And of course, though I don’t want to jinx it, the NCAA Championship game will be held in Atlanta again this year and I’m sure you remember 2002’s Title Game in the Georgia Dome because I played in it and lost to Maryland.

Now I know this is a lot for you to process considering you’ve been the darling of the state for so long (that is as long as we both agree to overlook Butler in the same way ESPN has for so long). Either way let this stand as fair warning that this will be a season to remember; at least for one of us.

Yours in perpetuity,

Indiana Men’s Basketball



© 2012 Eric Walker Williams