Pacer blues has Indianapolis seeing red

First appeared on April 21st, 2010
in The Lebanon Reporter

So the Pacers need money. So do I. Who doesn’t it for that matter? The difference evidently is I’m too proud to beg for it and the Pacers are not. What a mess. Talk about your showdown at high noon. Indianapolis mayor Greg Ballard ran on a refusal to raise taxes and the Pacers were quick to play the “If worse comes to worse we may have to leave town” card. So where do we go from here?


Forget the fundamental fact that we live in a capitalistic society for a moment and ask yourself this question: Could there be a worse time to go fishing for money? Given today’s economy it’s a remarkably bold move for a professional sports franchise to be asking for taxpayer help; never mind the fact you finished 20 games under .500.

It’s literally the equivalent of a father on the deck of the Titanic asking a passerby to stop and snap a photo of his family as people are busy rushing for the lifeboats. The timing is just wrong. It’s like someone waiting until a microphone is nearby to whisper to the President that signing his new health care bill is a “big %$#*! deal”.

Now I’m no financial expert and I can’t break down all the ramifications the NBA salary cap has on a team’s bottom line. Most days I can’t keep my checkbook balanced. But I can say there are other NBA teams in cities similar to Indianapolis playing in buildings newer than Conseco that are not asking for money right now.

Beyond that, knowing the Pacers have lost money in far more years than they have made it has to be a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with the franchise. I guess I could point the finger at somebody if that’s what Herb Simon needs but that’s unlikely given I wouldn’t do it for free.

Here comes the part where I pretend to know what the Pacers should do. For starters stop giving away free stuff at games. Especially when it’s junk nobody wants anyway like a Josh McRoberts trading card, or a chance to have Josh McRoberts sign your trading card. Have the guys at the end of the bench, you know the ones who never get in yet somehow still wind up averaging 5 points a game, do double duty by delivering hot dogs and popcorn.

Turn the lights out between quarters. Pull a George Costanza and forget to sign the checks on all your bills to buy yourself some time. Or, perhaps best of all, put some guys in uniform who will play together and actually care about winning and losing. I know the last one sounds like a long shot, but it has worked in the past.

In 10 years the Pacers have gone from a stable franchise that had made their first NBA Finals appearance to a floundering near-disaster so bad they couldn’t even lose as many games as fans hoped they would.

So, if anything, it’s clear the Blue and Gold are in dire straits. Apparently things are so bad Boomer has taken a part time job detailing all three of Danny Granger’s Bentleys. So what can we expect? Don’t be surprised to see the Pacers go all “PBS” on fans and hold a telethon. The franchise has already done this once to save themselves. This move along with a massive garage sale and any of an array of hare-brained money making schemes ripped from the pages of the screenplay for “Semi-Pro” may be the best hope the Pacers have.