Memories of Chris Kramer, Inspector Kemp and Tom Crean's gallon of Pepto

First appeared on March 17th, 2010
in The Lebanon Reporter

There is a scene in the Mel Brooks masterpiece "Young Frankenstein" where Inspector Kemp stands before an angry torch bearing mob and raises his wooden arm (with help) while announcing through a German accent thicker than Pepto Bismol "A riot is an ugly sing....und, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun."


Wither Tom Crean. Coming off a season filled with Pepto Bismol and no doubt battling insomnia. Tossing and turning under the weight of nightmares over a Hoosier Nation finally reaching angry mob level. Just when will season ticket holders and the rank and file Knight defenders (a.k.a. Boosters) grab their pitchforks and light their torches?

At some point someone is going to stand up and say what everyone else is thinking. “How much longer are we going to have to put up with losing?” Let this person from here on be referred to as Crean’s Inspector Kemp.

For two straight seasons the Hoosiers have failed. Failed to make the tournament. Failed to string together the sell outs that helped make Assembly Hall a hallowed place. They have failed to beat Purdue and failed to win more games than they lost. Now Indiana fans find themselves drifting aimlessly through uncharted waters with nary a promising light on the horizon. It's March and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing to look forward to.

Since Knight's firing Indiana's program has went from a whirlwind run to the NCAA championship game to the atomic bomb that was Kelvin Sampson. The latter of these sparking a tailspin towards a not-so-unforseable future of competing with Indiana State for recruits.

Credit Crean for playing his cards well. That is the "Kelvin Sampson screwed this all up" card and the "We have to start from scratch" card and the "We need kids like Chris Kramer" card. Come next year however, it will be time for Tom Crean to lay ALL his cards on the table.

There were signs of progress earlier in the year. A win in New York over Pittsburgh and a spirited performance against Kentucky in which Freshman Maurice Creek scored 32 points in one of his last games before a season ending knee injury.

But losing three in a row in Puerto Rico, a home loss to Loyola and several un-Hoosier like beat downs during the Big Ten regular season (including a stretch where Crean’s kids appeared disinterested in competing) could be taken as indications of either A. This was a really young team playing without their best playmaker (which is true) or B. Crean is in over his head (which is most likely not).

Though it will undoubtedly include some noticeably shorter rope, next season will still bring another fresh start. If the Hoosiers are not .500 or better however don't be surprised to see Inspector Kemp show up, monocle and all.

Since his arrival in Bloomington, Tom Crean has generated interest. He’s said and done all the right things. He’s recruited likable kids. He’s embraced the past. He’s done everything necessary to build a program except win games. Unfortunately for him, this is Division One college basketball and not a Friday night bowling league. People want more than good conversation, cold beer and greasy onion rings; they want wins.

All of this makes next year critical. If Indiana has another losing season, a fit of clapping and a schoolboy smile likely won’t be enough to keep the red carpet from being rolled up. One thing is certain, next season will go a long way towards telling us if Tom Crean is truly destined to be part of Indiana’s future.