Fare Thee well Yogi

First appeared on March 29, 2016
in The Lebanon Reporter

This is the time of the year when people turn to sportswriters, be they real or pretend, to explain the madness surrounding them. By law, sportswriters possess an aura of all-knowingness. One granted by beings beyond this world, which only serves to make the power all the more dangerous, all the more mystical and pretty much unavailable on HSN.

It is a power that enables sportswriters to not only make sense of the madness, but also refuse to acknowledge when they’re clearly wrong. The good news is, supernatural powers like these come in real handy when Carol from accounting asks why the sportswriters bracket finished last in the office pool.

If you’re like me, you took the hard earned money your children were counting on, whether for immediate sustenance or future college tuition, and let it ride on your ability to see into the future. The madness arrived and suddenly it became wholly unclear why you made the choices you did. You’re left a confused mess, boomeranging to the day your second grade teacher failed at explaining why we have a seven-tee and a six-tee, but for whatever reason there is no five-tee.

These belong to the unexplained. Dark strands of mystery woven together by careful hands, forming the imperfect fabric of life. Things like why North Carolina doubled their three-pointers made against Indiana, why a large coke at Steak and Shake is the same size as a medium at McDonald's or why your father chose to walk around the house in his underwear after eleven o'clock.

And so you stand in the midst of destruction. Your flaming bracket, your cackling co-workers, your wife bellyaching your five-dollar investment in the office pool belies a potential gambling problem. And, of course, your children, who herd around the foot of your recliner like piglets at an empty trough, staring at you, their innocent eyes watering, impatient tummies grumbling.

March is when the great ones separate themselves. And while a fifteen-point loss in the Sweet Sixteen may not be the way Yogi Ferrell wanted to close his career as an Indiana Hoosier, such is the madness of March. Ferrell came in a highly touted freshman. Four years later, he leaves a truly rare species. He was both diminutive and powerful, a jitterbug with range. He wanted to rock u to sleep, he wanted to rip your heart out with the step back or orchestrate another thundering flush. He wanted to prove little guys still belonged, but above all else he wanted to win.
Ferrell finishes as one of only five Hoosiers to score over 1,000 career points, grab 300 rebounds and dish out at least 400 assists. He is the school’s all time leader in assists and stands sixth in scoring. But what makes Yogi so rare is not his rabid productivity, rather it’s the fact he was this productive and still chose to stay four years.

The one-and-done culture in which we exist is the reason for the death of really good college basketball. It's also the reason Calbert Cheaney’s record as the Big Ten’s all time leading scorer has stood unchallenged for almost 25 years. Decisions like Ferrell’s are one factor in the only equation complex enough to explain March Madness; I’d walk you through it here, but math is a lot like witchcraft and witchcraft creeps me out.
In the end, all we can say is thank you. Thank you, Yogi. Thanks for staying another year. Thanks for a lifetime of memories. Thanks for playing your guts out every single minute and, above all, thanks for being a Hoosier.

© 2016 Eric Walker Williams

Tom Crean is a Cockroach

First appeared on March 11, 2016
in The Lebanon Reporter

People ask all the time if I’ve ever killed a man. The answer is fairly obvious, considering the life of a part time pretend sports columnist isn’t all glitz and glamor. Sometimes we have to roll our sleeves up and do some dangerous work; things normally reserved for ninjas, trained assassins or Mexican plastic surgeons who work out of motel bathrooms.

Take last year for example, I killed Tom Crean after his team was bounced from the second round of the NCAA Tournament by Wichita State. He was done, the end of the line. After failing to get a team with two lottery picks past the Sweet Sixteen, missing the tournament the next season and then being routinely booed at Assembly Hall while coaching his team to an early exit from the NCAA Tournament, there was nowhere left to hide.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending upon who you are, Tom Crean is a cockroach; you simply can’t kill him. The coach of the Hoosiers is, in the immortal words of Frank Costanza, like a phoenix “rising from Arizona”. After a disastrous trip to the Aloha State, Crean returned, retooled and reprogramed his squad. In November, getting the Hoosiers to play defense would have been a lot like getting Donald Trump to admit he has a weakness. A weakness other than his massive dependency upon both hair product and the availability of mirrors of course.

Since Maui however, the Hoosiers have tightened their collective belts and dedicated themselves to competing on both ends. What Crean has performed is a Today show make-over without the hair spray, wardrobe change, caked on eyeliner and entirely predictable reaction of the over-exuberant, male-ish intern. Indiana has simply been unrecognizable since mid-December and the result of this spectacular transformation was recently recognized when Crean became unanimous choice as Coach of the Year amongst Big Ten coaches and writers.

Gone is the stagnant 2-3 zone which guaranteed a wide open perimeter jumper in 30 seconds or less, gone are the pants that could never to seem to stay up without near constant encouragement, gone is the revolving door at the scorer’s table which fed a seemingly endless supply of line-up changes and player shuffling with no apparent rhyme, reason, pattern or strategy.

For the first time since being announced as the head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers, Tom Crean appears to be at peace with who he is. And who can blame him? His point guard is almost unstoppable, his team is destroying opponents and his critics have been forced to turn their attention elsewhere. Crean is more than just a cat that has burned through eight of his nine lives and he’s more than a blustery and unpopular world leader who’s somehow dodged numerous assassination attempts. Tom Crean is a good basketball coach and for the first time in a long time Hoosier nation appears to be warming to this idea.

Despite this, if Hoosier fans are treated to another frustratingly early exit, Crean will need help getting out of Bloomington. In fact, doing so will likely require more than the best Mexican plastic surgeon, including the one who promised to make Mexican drug-lord El Chapo look like Harrison Ford in his prime only to turn him into a paunchy, middle-aged, little league baseball coach with my uncle Frank’s mustache.
So the challenge lies ahead. Indiana fans are hungry for far more than a Big Ten Tournament title. Their eyes are on a much bigger prize. Coach of the Year and Big Ten Champs or not, it’s time for Tom Crean to deliver in the NCAA Tournament.

© 2016 Eric Walker Williams

A rivalry for the ages

First appeared on February 25, 2016
in The Lebanon Reporter

It’s Sunday morning in the coffee shop and the old crows are lined up at the counter squawking about Saturday night’s game.
“Know why Indiana University got rid of Water Polo?” Lester asks, forearms sprawled out on the counter.

“Why’s that?” Earl answers, blowing steam from his coffee.
“All their horses drowned.”

So another installment of the greatest college basketball rivalry in the state of Indiana is over and what have we learned that we didn’t already know? Indiana is an amazing three point shooting team and Purdue loves to beat people up inside. The Boilers can’t make shots outside of the paint and the Hoosiers struggle to maintain defensive intensity.

Saturday night marked a massive opportunity for both. Boiler Head Coach Matt Painter hoped to derail his group’s sojourn into the land of underachievement. Meanwhile Indiana’s Tom Crean needed another quality win to bolster his team’s resume and give sportswriters, real sportswriters mind you, reason to vote them higher than 22nd.

“Know what you call a pretty girl on Purdue’s campus?” Earl asks.
“What’s that?” Lester answers, spoon clanking while stirring up his sugar.
“A visitor.”

In the end the Hoosiers hung on, despite a furious comeback by their nemesis. But more than resumes and statement wins, this was about two seniors. Two players who thumbed their nose at the conventional wisdom that to stay four years means to kill your professional prospects.
In staying four years Yogi Ferrell and AJ Hammons did more than become better basketball players, they became legends amongst the diehards. Despite their impending graduations, both are primed to leave campus forever welding their legacies with greatness.
Ferrell came in as a lightning fast guard who could score the ball. He will leave as a top ten scorer and school’s all time assists leader, as well as being a more competitive defender whose not only stronger physically, but a stronger floor leader and all around basketball player.

“What’s the difference between Indiana’s basketball team and a mosquito?” Asks Lester.
“Reckon I don’t know.” Earl grumps.
“Mosquitos stop sucking at some point.”

Before landing in West Lafayette Hammons wasn’t a household name in recruiting circles. In four years under Painter’s guidance he’s gone from being an often-disinterested talent to one capable of completely dominating both ends of the court. By the end of his junior season Hammons had amassed 1,000 points, 600 rebounds and 250 assists, becoming just the third Big Ten player to do so since Ronald Reagan first won the White House.

And now both teams must move on. Purdue will try to regroup and focus on busting out of the funk that’s seen them drop four of their last eight. And, with a huge game in Iowa City looming, Indiana must avoid overlooking Illinois Thursday night. Indiana’s conference title hopes are alive and Purdue must work towards NCAA Tournament seeding.

“Know why Purdue’s golf course only has 14 holes?”
“’Spose I don’t.” Says Earl.
“Because a Boilermaker never gets to the Final Four.”

If anything, Saturday night served as a reminder of just how great this rivalry is. How alive and well it remains after enduring some trying times. Indiana and Purdue fans enjoying good natured ribbing at the expense of the other team is a tradition in the Hoosier state, a rite of passage. And at the end of the day, a good old fashioned rivalry can’t squelch that Hoosier Hospitality, for fans know life itself is bigger than any sport and no harm is meant. Wait a minute, I’ve got to go, Earl’s outside beating Lester like a rented mule again.

© 2016 Eric Walker Williams

Crean's Hoosiers in the Giving Mood

First appeared on December 9th, 2015
in The Lebanon Reporter

Tis the season for generosity and compassion and, as Americans, ours is a rich history indeed. From disaster relief in third world countries to the Peace Corps, we’ve proven time and again we’re far above recent headlines; no matter how ugly.

American’s give. From school groups organizing canned food drives to keeping the less fortunate warm by donating used coats, we care and we give. Even the blustery Donald Trump has embraced the holidays as, for months now, he’s been giving Republicans nightmares that he will eventually become their nominee.

Tom Crean’s Indiana Hoosiers have been in the holiday spirit as well, proving early on they’re absolutely committed to giving back to others. Whether it be giving up lay-ups or wide open three pointers, an uncontested jump shot or straight line drive to the basket, the Hoosiers have been one of the most generous teams in Division One men’s basketball so far.

Didn’t get the shot you wanted last time? Here, just let us try to pull a spin move while splitting three defenders and we’ll give you another chance. Generosity is a noble attribute in almost every setting outside of competitive sports. And Indiana’s generosity has resulted in a disappointing 6-3 start. It’s been a start Hoosier fans equate with finding a chunk of coal in their stocking or hearing Purdue is better than they were last year; like, a lot better.

So Tom Crean took his team to Hawaii and you were left at home shoveling out. In the flickering television light, you saw an endless horizon outlined by a rolling sea. Angry waves crashing ashore, raking away at sparkling sands dotted with tanned bodies. You saw it and you longed to be there. To feel the heat of a volcano, taste the Kalua pork, learn to cut a pineapple and succumb to the spell of a swaying grass skirt. You wanted Hawaii worse than the Republican National Committee wants anyone other than Trump.

And then you watched the first ten minutes of Indiana’s game with Wake Forest and decided your $5,000 was better spent somewhere else; anywhere else. As if caring were the last thing they were prepared to do, Crean’s Hoosiers appeared wholeheartedly apathetic, especially on the defensive end.

Unfortunately for the Hoosiers, Christmas is supposed to be the season of caring. For one month out of the year Americans do their best to pump the brakes on their busy lives in order to consider others. We want the holidays to be magical. We want to hear our favorite songs, pick out symmetrically flawless trees, give our children moments that will never fade and finally wrap a present that doesn’t wind up looking like it was done by someone wearing boxing gloves.

So you sit watching your neighbor jerking angrily at a tangled bundle of Christmas lights the size of a hay bale, and you find yourself thinking basketball isn’t supposed to be hard. You hear the extension ladder bang sharply off his house as the wife asks him to move the wreath three inches back to the right, and you’re left thinking how truly simple the sport is.

You pass the ball to your team, you know, the guys running around in the same uniforms. You work it around for the best shot and you keep your man from scoring. It’s really far less difficult than it sounds.

But the willingness to care is at the root of everything. Unfortunately, through 9 games, Indiana simply hasn’t cared enough for defense and, until they do, they’ll continue to give games away; tis the season after all.

© 2015 Eric Walker Williams

An open letter to IU Fans

First appeared on March 18, 2015
in The Lebanon Reporter

Dear Hoosier Nation,

If you don’t mind, I’d like to take my Part Time Pretend Sports Columnist hat off for a moment and talk to you one Indiana basketball fan to another. I grew up in a house where Indiana Basketball took center stage. I saw Knight toss the chair and remember the shirt I was wearing when Keith Smart beat Syracuse. I grabbed my socks at the foul line in Junior High School and screamed at the television while Ted Valentine fouled our four best players out of the National Semifinal in 1992 against Duke. I was in the Georgia Dome when we flirted with banner number six and will maintain forever that Calbert Cheaney was the best college basketball player I ever saw.

I was also in the stands two weeks ago when 17,000 booed the Hoosiers during the Iowa game and read with great horror what happened to Tom Crean’s son later that week. We’re better than this. For as long as I can remember, Hoosier Nation has demanded excellence, but there are boundaries.

I understand these boundaries are invisible and thus really hard to see, but Americans still seem steadfastly determined to push them further than ever before. Two weeks ago, Hoosier Nation obliterated them by booing 18 and 19 year old kids over a coach. Booing a group of kids who turned down numerous other schools in order to play for you is counterproductive and just plain dumb.

And, if it’s true some high school students chanted “Tom Crean sucks” when his son took the floor during a Sectional game, we should all stop following sports right now. Cancel the Big Ten Network, box our gear up and ship it off to some needy Third World country like the Central African Republic or Kentucky.

It’s true the actions of a mass of high school students have forever been largely amateurish and entirely unpredictable, but these are presumably the children of Indiana fans. The same sons and daughters who’ve heard their parents cursing Tom Crean in the kitchen, in the car, on the phone and between the pews.

As far as fake nations go, we used to be a standard bearer. Taking our candy striped pants and down home Hoosier values from sea to shining sea to watch our beloved team play. All the while laughing, smiling and remaining gracious in the face of back-handed compliments like “I’ve always said, somebody has to farm.”

Now we risk spiraling into some dark chasm of ill mannered temperament. A freefall destined to bottom out amidst the doldrums of sportsmanship, stranding us in a place inhabited by the worst the sports world can offer (see fans of the Red Sox and Ohio State Football). I’m fairly certain Thomas Paine had never seen an Indiana game when he wrote “These are the times that try men’s souls”. Still, no quote is more fitting for Hoosier Nation at this moment.

If you don’t like Tom Crean, rise up. Rise up and send Fred Glass a sharp-toned email. Rise up and write a letter to your local editor. Rise up and post your scathing thoughts to a message board hiding behind the handle ‘Hoosierdaddy87’. Rise up and shout it out on sports talk radio. Rise up and refuse to go to games.

Whatever you do, leave 18 and 19 year old kids out of the equation. Show the rest of the world what Hoosier Nation is about. Show them we bring a lot to the Sports World Table, including a rich history of tradition, sportsmanship and, above all else, class.

Yours in fandom,

Eric Williams


© 2015 Eric Walker Williams

IU and Purdue: Finally this game means something

First appeared on February 18, 2015
in The Lebanon Reporter

I grew up hating Purdue. And we're not talking your run of the mill spinach tastes like you’re licking the soiled lid of a Styrofoam bait cooler you found on the floor of your grandfather’s barn kind of hate. This was an "I don’t want you asking her out son, her family roots for Purdue" kind of hate. It was a "We’re not stopping the car to help that stranded motorist because God is punishing him for having a Purdue window cling" kind of hate.

But, as with most things, boiled spinach aside, tastes and perspectives change. Today I find myself pulling for the Boilers when they're not playing Indiana; though I haven't found the courage to share this news with my father yet. I imagine his disappointment mirroring the time I told him I didn’t need to take the SAT because I’d decided to become a Rodeo Clown.

Thursday night all bets are off. Thursday night there will be no moonlighting as a Boiler fan. Thursday night Indiana and Purdue will renew their rivalry once again in Bloomington, only this time there will be more than just pride on the line.

For the first time in a long time this game will actually mean something. It will be more than just two mediocre teams fighting to keep their heads above water while dying a slow death in the middle of the Big Ten pack. There is more than just bragging rights or revenge on the line. In short, this is the most important game in the history of the rivalry (or at least since they met in the 1980 NCAA Sweet 16).

It could be said the outcome of Thursday night’s game will alter the course of one of these programs forever. It could also be said blue is the new black and “Indiana General Assembly” is a synonym for out of touch, but those are columns for another time.

There are clear implications riding on Thursday night’s game. For the last 10-15 years the state of Indiana has provided the basketball world with some mega-talent and far too often these players have opted to venture outside her borders to attend school. With both programs struggling for solid footing in the recruiting world, Thursday night could mark an opportunity for Purdue to make a powerful statement to potential recruits.

Both schools also have an opportunity to earn one of the top four seeds in the Big Ten Tournament. Considering expansion has added two new teams to the conference and another round to the tournament, the double-bye the top four seeds are granted is destined to become a much coveted advantage. Beyond this, neither team is a surefire lock for the NCAA Tourney. Thursday night would go a long way in keeping Purdue’s hopes alive, while it could also open another gash in Indiana’s ship, which last we checked was still busy taking on water.

It could be argued the fate of both head coaches hangs in the balance as well. Should Crean get swept by an in-state rival on his way to another season that ends without tournament play, things in Bloomington could get ugly fast. Conversely it would appear Painter is already coaching for his life and a loss Thursday night could force his team into a kind of full blown “win the Big Ten Tournament or else” desperation mode.

So don’t fool yourself, while you won’t see any jackets tossed into the stands or chairs spinning across the floor, this is a huge game. And while Indiana probably won’t offer half-price seats to anyone leading a jackass in a Purdue hat through the turnstiles, don’t fool yourself, this game means everything.

© 2015 Eric Walker Williams

Indiana and Purdue heading in opposite directions

First appeared on February 6th, 2015
in The Lebanon Reporter

Short people unite! Unite in an effort to reach items from the top shelf in the grocery store without knocking five other things off in the process, unite in the spirit of the young Eddie Gaedels’ and Herve Villechaizes’ everywhere, unite for the common defense of your kingdom full of mushroom shaped houses and half naked blue people.

Unite as the Purdue Boilermakers continue waging their war upon players blessed with inferior size. In a game that has mimicked the NBA by becoming increasingly smaller and more athletic, Purdue is quietly finding success going against the grain. While staying true to his core principles of a strong perimeter defense, Matt Painter has also ripped a page out of yesteryear by fielding a team with Wooden-like size.

Despite some early stumbles, Painter’s bunch seems to have finally embraced the role of bully on the block. Against Indiana especially, AJ Hammons and Isaac Haas looked out of place; almost like a tag team duo of Andre the Giant and Godzilla. Bullying their way to the basket with defenders bouncing off one after the other, the dynamic duo absorbed so much of Indiana’s defensive attention that several other Boilers, the ones who don’t look like Yao Ming stunt doubles, were able to worm their way to the goal with ease.

What Hammons and Haas did to Indiana a week ago was almost inhumane, bordered upon cruel and is illegal in 49 of the 50 states (last we checked the Ned Beatty Bill was still being debated in the Georgia State Senate). The impressive win also seemed to wake a sleeping giant (pun fully intended) as the Boilers have gone on to win three straight, including Wednesday night’s victory over another nationally ranked opponent in Ohio State.

But it all started a week ago by drumming Indiana in a game that kept Purdue’s season alive. It was also a victory Painter likely needed to avoid finding an email in his inbox with the subject line: “Pick up change of address form”. And while Hammons and Haas have anchored the interior, off-season transfer Jon Octeus has been a pleasant surprise as a defender with length and athleticism as well as a point guard who brings an attitude to the floor.

And while the win has injected life into Painter’s team, the opposite can be said for Tom Crean’s Indiana Hoosiers. Losers of 3 out of their last 4, Indiana suddenly finds themselves in a similar position to Purdue a week ago. In fact, it’s almost as if the two have passed each other on an escalator.

Indiana had spent much of their year riding the up escalator, but for some reason have changed their minds and hopped the rail. The Hoosiers knew coming in to the season their lack of size would present challenges. Unfortunately this has never been more apparent than this past week as Purdue manhandled the Hoosiers before Wisconsin flirted with embarrassing them. Things were so bad that, five minutes into the Purdue game, short men everywhere quietly slipped into the restroom to stuff more folded up paper towel into the bottoms of their shoes.

So now Indiana finds themselves fighting to get off the down escalator. Sunday’s date with Michigan suddenly has ‘must win’ written all over it with a road trip to Maryland and home date against Purdue looming on the horizon.
With all eyes on the up escalator, one has to wonder where it leads. It could be the NCAA Tournament, it could be the home house wares section of Kohl’s. The down escalator is a far different story. The down escalator is crowded with empty wallets, angry shoppers and screaming kids. The Down escalator is a comfortable ride to nowhere and remains the one place Tom Crean and Matt Painter can’t afford to be.

© 2015 Eric Walker Williams

Merry Christmas from the Sports World

First appeared on December 18, 2014
in The Lebanon Reporter

For you Christmas lost its meaning in third grade when the Santa outside 3D got mad at you for crushing the pack of cigarettes he’d stashed in his front pocket. And as his profane string of insults throttled your virgin ears, they arrived riding the strangest of smells.

A toxic potpourri that would remain undiscovered until many years later, where at a gathering of so called friends in a dark college apartment, full of crushed cigarettes and hormone-powered profanities, you found yourself bitten by the Wild Turkey for the first time.

Today the sermons sound simple and ring true. Speeches about caring for others and giving to the less fortunate, but for you Christmastime remains frozen in time. It’s the season to wish for the things you don’t have. Things that seem within reach but for a variety of reasons remain at arm’s length. And so you still compose lists in your head, your own personal get back for that rag tag Santa who shattered the world as you once knew it.

Those in the sports world profess to be selfless human beings, but we know deep inside the depths of their souls, in a place no probing journalist has ever found, lurks an ugly Grinch-like desire to lie, steal and cheat their way to the top of Mount Crumpit. Facts are facts, you don’t get to the top without a little of the green guy in you.

With this in mind, coaches and teams are not above wishing for things that could make them better. Tom Crean’s list begins, “Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is someone taller than 6’8 who can play.” Meanwhile, eighty miles to the north, Matt Painter is up late baking gingerbread cookies to leave out with his short note, the one asking for a chance to play North Florida again.

John Calipari’s list is a bit longer. He wants an undefeated season for his Kentucky Wildcats capped by a National Championship, and he’d like it to arrive as soon as possible, that way he has enough time to enjoy it before the NCAA strips it away. Indiana fans want a chance to play the Wildcats again, while Kentucky’s faithful have written the North Pole hoping for things like some new socks, a professional sports franchise other than UK’s basketball team and more front porch space.

Frank Vogel wants his team to play hard, fight every night and scrap their way into the Playoffs. Apparently his list includes an opening round bloodbath at the hands of the Cleveland Cavaliers as well. Meanwhile, every Pacer fan on earth wants them to lose every game by 50 and stink their way into the lottery where they might luck out and pick up one of Kentucky’s bench players.

The Colts are asking Santa to bring Andrew Luck a pair of glasses so that he might see the opposing team’s secondary while Reggie Wayne is hoping to find a new pair of knees under the tree on Christmas morning.

For Cubs fans Christmas came early with the signing of free agent Jon Lester and for Lester’s kids, well there’s really no reason for them to make out a Christmas list now is there? But Cubs fans have been down this road before, they know it’s too soon to talk World Championship. This means they’ll just bide their time and wait for the wheels, or Lester’s arm, to fall off before their season crashes and burns up in a fiery, catastrophic and somewhat all too familiar, death.

Merry Christmas to you and yours and may God bless us everyone (even the Kentucky fans).

© 2014 Eric Walker Williams

Next year too far away for Crean and Painter

First appeared on November 25, 2014
in The Lebanon Reporter

Don’t look now but here comes basketball season. That familiar chill is in the air and suddenly moving to Florida to run the trailer park Uncle Rich left behind doesn’t look so bad. A few backed up toilets and a gator in a kiddie pool sound fairly glamorous when stacked up against shoveling snow in thirty mile an hour winds and subzero temperatures.

If football sends us out on a Friday night under a blazing fall sunset to breathe in the first chill of an emerging winter, basketball finds us huddling around a space heater and blowing into our hands while passing a bottle of something warm around. And for the first time in a great long while, it would seem fans of basketball at Indiana and Purdue find themselves passing the bottle around in the same place (all regards to both Nick’s and Harry’s).

So fans are left muddling through this contentious congregation in some dark room in the back as head coaches Matt Painter and Tom Crean are forced to leave the party early. Sharing the same elevator, an awkward moment finds Crean tugging at his belt nervously while Painter uncrosses his arms long enough to wipe a stream of sweat from his forehead. And as the doors slide shut, both are left to wonder if they’re bound for a higher level of success or coaching purgatory.

Once again we find Matt Painter struggling to construct a time machine capable of catapulting him out of the Baby Boiler era. Finding a fresh group of talent to regain solid footing in West Lafayette has become Painter’s white whale. For since Moore, Johnson and Hummel left town, Purdue has floundered through one untimely departure after another and a seemingly endless supply of Johnson’s.

But fear not Boiler fans, for the cupboard finally appears stocked with some promising, and conveniently interchangeable, pieces. These young players should fit nicely around a battled tested big man in Carmel Junior AJ Hammons, also known as the most intriguing (and at times frustrating) talent Purdue has seen in many moons.

For seven years Tom Crean has been living off the life insurance policy Kelvin Samson’s untimely death caused. Hoosier fans rallied around Crean in the beginning. They welcomed Cody Zeller with open arms and celebrated the evolution of Victor Oladipo. But somewhere along the way a really talented and deep team failed to escape the Sweet Sixteen. Fast forward and we find Crean’s program hit with one unexpectedly terrible black eye after another. Now he’s hoping a young and tremendously undersized team is enough to keep his red hot seat from turning white.

What we have here is a story of two programs. Two programs, once proud and accustomed to high levels of success. Two programs suddenly stuck in a perpetual state of mediocrity. Two programs who find themselves relegated to middle of the pack horses in an ever widening race. Two programs struggling to strike a balance between lofty fan expectations and the realities of college basketball as we know it today.

Still, it’s no secret these fan bases are growing restless. Both coaches have reached the point where next year is too far away. Crean’s advantage is a set of talented wings who can make plays and score, but Hammons size gives the Boilers the best chance to win in the Big Ten. And be wary of that guy, the one saying there’s no way either coach will be fired; for this is likely the same person who’d tell you the best way to get that gator out of the kiddie pool is to dive in after it.

© 2014 Eric Walker Williams

Indiana Hoosiers don't have time to be young

First appeared on November 26, 2013
in The Lebanon Reporter

When Syracuse beat Indiana last March Tom Crean looked like a guy who’d let half his 401K ride on Tyson beating Buster Douglas. His energetic and positive mannerisms were replaced with the same disgusted look Ralphie sported upon discovering his Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Ring only told him to “drink your Ovaltine”.

And who can blame him? Indiana had spent 10 weeks at number one and finished fifth in the nation in scoring only to go down in flames with a 50 point performance in the Sweet Sixteen. It was supposed to be “the year”. Everyone was back. This includes Crean’s roster as well as Hoosier Nation, shoulder to shoulder for the first time since Bobby gave his farewell speech to students in Dunn Meadow. The same hormone-fueled students who took a break from keg standing and bathing with Hairy Buffalo long enough to pretend they actually understood this white haired guy whose shtick was a propensity for demanding respect, launching into vulgar laden tirades, form-fitting red sweaters and a strong right hand.

Indiana had come so far under Crean’s guidance, but 12-13 was to be more than another building block. It was to be a banner year. And by “banner year” we’re not talking about cutting down the nets following a home loss (note to Tom: Next time the voices in your head tell you to wheel the ladders out after a loss, keep stuffing gum into their mouths until you can no longer understand them).

Beyond the ugly loss, Crean’s incredulous demeanor was more a reaction to his knowing the heart of his program had taken its final beat. After that loss Super Sophomore Cody Zeller and Junior standout Victor Oladipo both declared for the draft. This while graduation took gutsy sharpshooter, and former Mr. Basketball, Jordan Hulls along with Christian Watford, one who will forever be remembered for nailing one of the greatest shots in Hoosier history. And there was no measure of clapping that could ever bring them back.

So, unsure of what lay ahead, a weak kneed Crean boarded a plane headed back to Bloomington; rocketing into bitter darkness. Criticism abounded as he found himself in the crosshairs for the first time. For, just as the nation had tired of hearing the President blame his predecessor, suddenly mentioning Kelvin Samson’s name wasn’t enough either.

Enter the most promising Freshman class Crean has amassed in his tenure at Indiana. More to the point, enter Noah Vonleh and Troy Williams. Thursday night’s near twenty point victory over Pac 10 power Washington allowed Hoosier fans to take their first steps toward a brave new world.

If anything, this group is exciting. Vonleh’s a hard worker who punishes people inside while Williams is busy watching it all from above the rim. And as Vonleh and Williams have been busy opening eyes, Indianapolis product Devin Davis has assumed the role of team Swiss Army Knife by rolling his sleeves and doing little things winners require.

Indeed, all this talent is useless without proper direction. And if there’s one person who wasn’t devastated by last year’s departures it’s Yogi Ferrell. The sophomore point guard has been more everything. More vocal, more aggressive, more effective and more dominant.

So the Hoosiers have replenished their talent pool and fans are slowly reloading the bandwagon. Now Crean must accept blueprints can’t be four year plans. In today’s college basketball the window of opportunity is much smaller. So the challenge is before him. To avoid another long plane ride, Crean must find a way to squeeze as many wins out of this young roster as possible.

© 2013 Eric Walker Williams

Michigan's season was bigger than one loss

First appeared on April 11th, 2013
in The Lebanon Reporter

When Jordan Morgan’s shot rolled off the rim at the buzzer giving Tom Crean and the Indiana Hoosiers their first outright Big Ten title in 20 years, all hope seemed lost for the Wolverines. In that moment Beilein’s crew went from talented upstarts, far too young to realize brazen doesn’t wear well in the Midwest, to a group of Thriller-like zombies shocked into a state of disbelief.

They were the closest thing Ann Arbor has seen to the Fab Five since those fashionistas first set foot on campus 20 years ago. Good news for Michigan fans is, while this current batch may have the baggy shorts and above the rim game, they lack the ugly baggage and propensity for calling time outs when they have none. But that moment, on the last day of the season in their own building, should have been the crushing blow in what was already becoming a frustrating end to a promise filled season. A Tyson-style haymaker delivered from Cody Zeller and his national darling Indiana Hoosiers.

On the surface it appeared a turning point for Indiana who, after making NCAA history the week before in becoming the first team to cut the nets down following a loss, finally claimed their trophy. Tom Crean and future All-American Victor Oladipo shared a moment in what they surely believed was a stepping stone to hanging another banner as the Wolverines stumbled off the court like stunned cattle.

Someone more famous than me once quipped “these are the times that try men’s souls” and while it might be difficult to prove, I’m fairly certain they were talking about the 2013 Michigan Wolverines. For as they retired to their locker room to sweep what was left of their hopes and dreams into a Maize and Blue Rubbermaid dustpan every media member in the nation, part-time pretend or not, believed Blue had flat lined then and there. But from the ashes left smoldering on the Crisler Center court came a resurgent group of Wolverines who were, in the infamous words of Frank Costanza, “like a Phoenix, rising from Arizona”.

Michigan’s impressive surge to the Final Four wouldn’t have been possible without two things; the surprising play of Superfrosh Mitch McGary and a near forty foot jumper from Trey Burke that eventually buried then flavor of the month Kansas. For those wanting hard hitting analysis, look no further than an enormous charge from Jordan Morgan, role players like Spike Albrecht and Caris LeVert quietly doing their jobs and Head Coach John Beilein’s innate ability for developing system-specific skill sets in his players.

But in prevailing 82-76 Monday night, Louisville proved to have more experience and were quite simply tougher. There’s something to be said for toughness in this modern world of empty threats and helicopter parents. It takes real guts to reach down inside and find the strength necessary to fight harder at that precise moment when so many before have quit. To fight that which has been conditioned in you.

So we’re left to hope history will remember Michigan not as a team that wasn’t good enough on one night, rather as an exciting team that showed guts in overcoming a disastrous finish to their season. And while another installment of March Madness has came and went bringing an end to the greatest three weeks in sports, we move forward knowing every day puts us one day closer to its return. CBS will put Greg Gumbel back on the shelf for another year, but soon enough the Road to the Final Four will point the way west to Dallas.


© 2013 Eric Walker Williams

ESPN is Wrecking College Basketball

First appeared on February 6th, 2013
in The Lebanon Reporter

What is it about ESPN that makes them so loathsome yet completely irresistible simultaneously? From steroids in baseball to Favre and Tebow, ESPN truly is the only great, relatively inexpensive and 100% absolutely legal, mind-altering drug of our generation.

I’ll be the first to admit I once had a problem. My life revolved around SportsCenter. Days weren’t complete without it. When my cable was out for a week I became irritable and lashed out at others, going so far as to dress my dog in a Sanchez jersey screaming “You’re no Tebow!” at him. But I’ve since moved on, after discovering a whole new world outside watching sports highlights on television exists and also after it became clear ESPN panders to a demographic that sees me as old and creepy.

And so it’s only now, with the clairvoyant perspective one can only have from looking in from the outside, that things are clear. ESPN brings College Game Day to Bloomington and the masses turn out to holler and carry on as if ours is some great dark corner of the world where nothing of note happens and nobody matters. And in these moments, with the white hot spotlight upon them, the talking heads are contractually obligated to fill air time and generate tweet-worthy commentary.

It should be enough to say Victor Oladipo is a really good college basketball player. One who’s built himself from an unknown recruit to one of the best in college. Instead they’re compelled to predict all that could go wrong, as if a nine dollar snowglobe from the ESPN.com gift shop were a functioning crystal ball.
Different players wearing the same tired labels. He’s too short, he’s not the prototypical NBA guard, he doesn’t have the range you need on the next level and he’s too nice so there’s no way he’ll ever shoot up a night club or openly complain about having to practice.

Cody Zeller’s draft stock rises and falls on a near hourly basis as if being driven by the gravity of the moon. Yes Zeller was the single largest reason Indiana, and Tom Crean, turned things around. In fact, in going from 6 wins to the top ranked team in the country, we haven’t seen a resurrection like this since Betty White turned up at halftime of the Super Bowl. But he’s not going to be the next Tim Duncan and if you think this perhaps you should take all the money you have and bury it in the backyard right now.

It should be enough for Zeller that he helped Indiana return to glory. Mr. Basketball, High School State Champion, Trester Award winner. What else do we need him to do? Find a cure for cancer on his way to the basket? Leave the kid alone. Let him be a college sophomore. Celebrate him for who he is and not who he may or may not be someday.

It’s become simply exhausting, and hokey. Forsaking innovative programming, ESPN has instead become list happy, ranking everything from pregame meals to anti-inflammatory creams. Could it be that every player or coach they cover is the best at something? “He has to be the most talented left handed sixth man not born in the United States playing in college basketball today”.

Rank what they may and label what they will, ESPN and their millions still can’t fabricate moments like Christian Watford’s shot over Kentucky. The allure of these lies in the reaction, not the tease. So let your cameras roll ESPN for we want to witness all the nouns we wouldn’t normally. In the meantime live by the mantra “produce more, pontificate less”.

© 2013 Eric Walker Williams

Indiana and Purdue Fans need to take a closer look

First appeared on March 7th, 2012
in The Lebanon Reporter

A wise man once told me “sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees”. And while it sounds very prophetic, I literally had no idea what it meant until I heard Andy Taylor explain it once on the ‘Andy Griffith Show’. You’ve probably seen the episode; the one where Opie gets busted for lying about something he did despite hearing Andy warn him beforehand that it was a bad idea (OK, so maybe that describes all of them).

For fans of the Indiana Hoosiers this should be a time of great rejoice. For the first time since 2006 they swept their arch rival Purdue in basketball and yet the grumbling of Hoosier Nation lingers. In one season Indiana fans went from ”We’ve got a shot at another National Title” to “FIRE TOM CREAN!!”

Oh the ‘forest for the trees’ indeed. In bringing the Hoosiers back to the Top 20 and dusting off their dancing shoes, Tom Crean has completely pulled Indiana's program from the toilet bowl Kelvin Sampson so carelessly dumped it into. Hoosier fans should simply be thankful that, before he could flush the program entirely, Sampson paused to make a cell phone call long enough to be fired.

Indiana fans should relish the little things right now. Things like the fact Robbie Hummel will suffer nightmares of Cody Zeller’s second half swat for years to come. That rejection was so bad Hummel will likely toss around at night with visions of Zeller swatting his pop tart away from the toaster rolling through his head.

Instead of bemoaning three straight conference losses, Indiana fans should rest safe in the knowledge that, after hearing the cheer block chanting “Jailbird” at one Boilermaker, Indiana University is producing a student body so well rounded they value the importance of staying abreast of current events.

Before Boiler fans start feeling too good about themselves, they aren’t exactly boasting 20/20 vision either. Proof they can’t see ‘the forest for the trees’ can be found in their questioning of Head Coach Matt Painter’s dismissal of Kelsey Barlow at such a critical point in the season. And while at the time, considering Painter’s lack of depth, it seemed the equivalent of Custer sending someone out for donuts in the middle of his last stand, clearly it was the right move. For, despite being swept by their arch enemy, it’s almost indisputable that the Boilers are playing much better basketball now.

I always thought Indiana was so tough to beat at Assembly Hall because of magic or divine intervention but, according to Painter, it’s a result of making shots instead. For, after the Hoosiers excelled in numerous phases of the game, Painter refused to acknowledge the performance, instead chalking the loss up to Indiana’s “making shots”.

But after getting down by 18 in one of the most difficult places to play in college basketball Sunday Night, Purdue had enough heart to fight their way back into the game. For all Matt Painter’s team has endured over the last 3 years, this should bode well moving forward.

Oh the ‘forest for the trees’. Lost in the bluster of Sunday Night’s rivalry game was the fact that neither had any remaining hopes of a regular season conference title. What many also failed to see was the fact both teams have won 20 games and were fighting for a middle of the road seed in the Big Ten Tourney. Indeed it’s a far cry from the heyday of Knight and Keady but, trees or not, we can all see one thing clearly-these two still don’t like each other.

© 2012 Eric Walker Williams

Hoosier odds are long, but are they Buster Douglas long?

First appeared on February 3rd, 2010
in The Lebanon Reporter

February 11th will mark the 20th anniversary of the night James “Buster” Douglas knocked Mike Tyson out to win the Heavyweight Championship of the World. Coming in a 42-1 underdog, Douglas left Tokyo having shocked the sports world and secured a place in boxing eternity.
Some believe the Indiana Hoosiers will face similar odds when the Purdue Boilermakers come to Assembly Hall Thursday night. The Boilers sprinted out to a 14-0 start and, after some part-time hack of a sports columnist cursed them by spotlighting their dominance in his writing, they proceeded to lose three straight. Now, after beating Wisconsin and drumming Penn State, it would seem they have righted the ship. Surely Boiler fans want nothing more (outside of a National Championship) than to hear the drumbeat continue Thursday night in Bloomington.
One could say with some certainty the Hoosier’s season to this point has been quite different. After letting a winnable game at home against Iowa get away, the Hoosiers controlled the second half Saturday at Illinois and played well enough to win, only to be beaten at the buzzer. So they’ve lost their top scorer, dropped an ugly game to Iowa and lost at the buzzer to Illinois. What could be worse? Oh yeah, here comes nationally ranked Purdue. The question in the B-town coffee shops now is how much life can be left in the Hoosiers after they’ve lost so much?
The fervor of this rivalry is well documented (see one side chanting “BOILER UP!” and the other answering in unison, “BANNER UP!” for proof), so truth is this series is so much about emotion that it really doesn’t matter where these two find themselves now.
It’s a time when the proverbial records are actually given the proverbial toss out the proverbial window. A rivalry so volatile we’re used to seeing coaches so heated they resort to throwing things; Knight and his chair. Keady and his jacket. Samson and, well take your pick between his future away or the program under a bus.
In a new era Tom Crean and Matt Painter fit the mold. Both are fiery in a “fire in the belly for winning” kind of way. Certainly not the “lose temporary touch with reality” way we saw after Mike Davis stormed the court in Lexington only to dance around like somebody had tossed a voodoo doll of him into a hot skillet.
So what will happen Thursday? The only certainty in all of this is, at one time, an unknown like Buster Douglas could never have ever beaten Mike Tyson. Tyson was the closest thing to Superman the sports world had ever seen. He had never even been knocked down in a fight before. Of course twenty years later we’ve all heard how that story turned out (well Evander Holifield has heard bits and pieces of it anyway).
Crean said recently his kids need to be tougher. The Hoosiers will have to be physical to survive Purdue’s football on hardwood style, even if Tijan Jobe goes 4/5 from downtown. This game will merely be a progress report for Crean’s crash course on toughness however and not a final exam.
What we see Thursday night could be interesting…or it could be ugly. If it’s analysis you seek, the Hoosiers will be smart to stay aggressive and attack Purdue even when logic says protect the ball in the face of their smothering pressure. Crean’s mantra should be “Take them 10 rounds”; absorb their best shot and outlast them. Thursday night the Indiana Hoosiers could do worse than aspiring to be Buster Douglas for a day.