An open letter to IU Fans

First appeared on March 18, 2015
in The Lebanon Reporter

Dear Hoosier Nation,

If you don’t mind, I’d like to take my Part Time Pretend Sports Columnist hat off for a moment and talk to you one Indiana basketball fan to another. I grew up in a house where Indiana Basketball took center stage. I saw Knight toss the chair and remember the shirt I was wearing when Keith Smart beat Syracuse. I grabbed my socks at the foul line in Junior High School and screamed at the television while Ted Valentine fouled our four best players out of the National Semifinal in 1992 against Duke. I was in the Georgia Dome when we flirted with banner number six and will maintain forever that Calbert Cheaney was the best college basketball player I ever saw.

I was also in the stands two weeks ago when 17,000 booed the Hoosiers during the Iowa game and read with great horror what happened to Tom Crean’s son later that week. We’re better than this. For as long as I can remember, Hoosier Nation has demanded excellence, but there are boundaries.

I understand these boundaries are invisible and thus really hard to see, but Americans still seem steadfastly determined to push them further than ever before. Two weeks ago, Hoosier Nation obliterated them by booing 18 and 19 year old kids over a coach. Booing a group of kids who turned down numerous other schools in order to play for you is counterproductive and just plain dumb.

And, if it’s true some high school students chanted “Tom Crean sucks” when his son took the floor during a Sectional game, we should all stop following sports right now. Cancel the Big Ten Network, box our gear up and ship it off to some needy Third World country like the Central African Republic or Kentucky.

It’s true the actions of a mass of high school students have forever been largely amateurish and entirely unpredictable, but these are presumably the children of Indiana fans. The same sons and daughters who’ve heard their parents cursing Tom Crean in the kitchen, in the car, on the phone and between the pews.

As far as fake nations go, we used to be a standard bearer. Taking our candy striped pants and down home Hoosier values from sea to shining sea to watch our beloved team play. All the while laughing, smiling and remaining gracious in the face of back-handed compliments like “I’ve always said, somebody has to farm.”

Now we risk spiraling into some dark chasm of ill mannered temperament. A freefall destined to bottom out amidst the doldrums of sportsmanship, stranding us in a place inhabited by the worst the sports world can offer (see fans of the Red Sox and Ohio State Football). I’m fairly certain Thomas Paine had never seen an Indiana game when he wrote “These are the times that try men’s souls”. Still, no quote is more fitting for Hoosier Nation at this moment.

If you don’t like Tom Crean, rise up. Rise up and send Fred Glass a sharp-toned email. Rise up and write a letter to your local editor. Rise up and post your scathing thoughts to a message board hiding behind the handle ‘Hoosierdaddy87’. Rise up and shout it out on sports talk radio. Rise up and refuse to go to games.

Whatever you do, leave 18 and 19 year old kids out of the equation. Show the rest of the world what Hoosier Nation is about. Show them we bring a lot to the Sports World Table, including a rich history of tradition, sportsmanship and, above all else, class.

Yours in fandom,

Eric Williams


© 2015 Eric Walker Williams

For those not yet confused by college football; please read on

First appeared on October 21st, 2009
in The Lebanon Reporter

Why does the lady at the cash register always ask if my check card is credit or debit? Why does she insist on asking when it can be both? And what is the most acceptable choice? These are the unanswered questions of my life.
Confusion is defined as a state of bewilderment. And no, “the state of bewilderment” is not west of Nevada. Bewilderment is personified by the look the cashier generally receives from me when I am forced to choose between credit or debit.
The Balloon Boy should know something about confusion and bewilderment after throwing the media into a code red tailspin late last week by apparently faking his own runaway homemade helium balloon rescue emergency. If anything he provided a “let’s ride this pony for all it’s worth” moment for the Larry Kings of the world, “Fort Collins, Colorado-Hello!” You say you still don’t think it was a publicity stunt? Perhaps another cup of Kool Aid is what you need most.
Confusion ruled the day Saturday in College Football and, contrary to popular belief it was not BCS induced. Surely the Ohio State Buckeyes were confused. Somebody please say they were under the impression the Purdue Boilermaker team they were facing Saturday was a golden days “Drew Brees attempting something like 1,000 passes in a half” version and not the 1-5 Danny Hope-led team that actually took the field because, despite being a two touchdown favorite, the Buckeyes still found a way to lose. For suffering one of the worst losses in his career on the day the first BCS rankings came out, Senator Tressel deserves a huge Arthur Fonzarelli “thumbs up” from Buckeye Nation.
How confused must fans of Delaware State be? Not only were their heads spinning from a 63-6 defeat at the hands of the Michigan Wolverines, but to make matters worse, like a punch in the gut Hornet fans were forced to suffer two defeats on Saturday after a scheduling conflict saddled them with a loss via forfeit.
Apparently there was confusion Saturday in South Bend as well. Fans were forced to endure the misery of a high spirited affair growing painfully tedious as time and again the officials brought things to a grinding halt with a never-ending series of “Why are they replaying THAT?” replays. In fact one might argue there were more replays in the game than USC band members granted sidelined passes (which is a ridiculous analogy for those who saw the broadcast). There were so many USC band members piled up on the sidelines Saturday it was almost as if the Trojan Horse had eaten some bad Thai food.
But alas confusion in college football is not unlike hormones in a Junior High dance; without them what would we really have? Certainly not the enigmatic six headed monster who feeds on television contracts and little boys who don’t do their homework (yes we’re still talking about college football). College football needs confusion. Confusion is the tonic that drives coaches, motivates players, stimulates the media and tortures fans.
To have a logical system that rewards strength of schedule and culminates with one clear champion would be the death of commentary, second guessing and the almighty “what-if” scenario. And these are the things that keep us all coming back.